Chapter 35: Heart’s Knot

Jiang Ci froze, then widened her eyes a little—but accepted it fast. “Then… Miss Girlfriend—she’s like this. What are you going to do?”
“I’ll stay with her.” Bai Yanci paused and smiled. “Jiang Ci, thank you for coming today.”
Jiang Ci coughed. “I didn’t come especially for her. Just passing by.”
She pulled an invitation from her bag, set it by the door, knocked careful, voice blunt anyway: “Hey, Yi—don’t forget the Sun-Moon Cup finals. You promised we’d settle it on stage!”
No sound from inside.
Finals week now. Yi Ke had taken long sick leave. She handled every visitor smoothly—no one suspected.
Jiang Ci didn’t believe it.
At home Jiang Ran never mentioned Yi Ke—but Jiang Ci could guess.
Yi Ke like this had to tie to SI business. Maybe Qixie too.
She’d provoked twice. Still no response.
She didn’t stay longer.
Staying would only get in their way.
At the door she looked hard at the closed room once more, then left.
Bai Yanci saw the small gestures. Her eyes darkened—a little rethought toward Jiang Ci.
Maybe these humans weren’t as bad as she’d imagined.
That night Bai Yanci came to the door and knocked soft: “Ke-ke, I made a new strawberry cake. Come taste it?”
A full week Yi Ke had locked herself away from everyone—including her.
Yi Ke had set a barrier on the door. For Bai Yanci that level broke easily.
She never forced entry once—respecting Yi Ke, giving her lover time and space.
A week passed. Still silence inside. No sign of recovery. She knew she couldn’t wait on Yi Ke’s temperament forever.
Yi Ke wasn’t fully human. Her soul was fallen god; the human body was only the vessel.
Fallen-god power had woken. Yi Ke no longer needed three meals a day like ordinary people.
Food for a god was just a fresh seasoning.
“If you don’t answer I’m coming in.” Bai Yanci knocked again. Still nothing inside.
She set her hand on the door to break the barrier—and found it had already been lifted.
A light push—the door opened.
Sheer curtains half-drawn. Moon through the gap was the room’s only light.
The floor littered with crumpled sketch paper. Yi Ke sat quiet at the desk, brush in hand.
Bai Yanci picked up one ball and smoothed it—quick doodles.
They said art showed the mood of the moment.
Lines tangled into chaos on the page—the maker’s mind easy to read.
“You can art-lock yourself—I don’t mind. But keeping it this dark—were you an owl in a past life?” Bai Yanci turned the lights on and set the cake before Yi Ke. “Try it. I changed the recipe—you be the judge.”
These days Bai Yanci knocked twice daily—morning and night—never forced entry.
Today when she knocked again, Yi Ke lifted the barrier.
Barrier down—but her thoughts still drifted far away.
A long daze before any other motion.
Maybe from days without sleep—she moved slow, looked at the pretty little cake on the desk, then lifted her face to Bai Yanci beside her.
“Why are you so good to me?” First words in days. “Sister, I almost took your life…”
Their first conversation in a week.
Bai Yanci silent. Yi Ke asked again: “Sister, why didn’t you dodge? Why didn’t you fight back? I was going to kill you—why didn’t you kill me?”
Every time she thought of that day—another will moving her body with Qiyang Sword—panic wouldn’t stop.
Bai Yanci standing safe before her—guilt and fear only grew.
“Sister, do you know?” Her voice broke. “Since the memory seal broke, every time I close my eyes I’m back in that day. Every detail replays.”
“I’m afraid. I’m so afraid.” She gripped her own hem. “I can never—forgive myself.”
“I’m not afraid.” Bai Yanci’s voice was calm and firm—not a tremor.
“But I am!” Tears gathered; terror soaked her words. “I’m afraid I can’t control that power—afraid one day someone else takes my body again—hurts others—hurts you!”
Bai Yanci looked at her gently. “You won’t. I believe you. You won’t lose to her. You’ll master your power completely.”
“When Mu rated me SSS danger I didn’t know what it meant.” She laughed at herself, bitter. “Now I do. Sister, I can’t even rule myself. All these years—to learn I’m a monster.”
“Ke-ke, don’t say that about yourself…”
“Sister.” She cut in; tears finally fell. “I don’t even know who I am. What meaning does my existence have?”
With fallen-god power awake she felt clearly—another consciousness in her body waking and growing too.
If one day that one surpassed her and took the mind completely—would she still be her?
The more she thought the more fear—the fall toward hell.
Until warm, firm arms caught her and pulled her back to the human world.
Light rose scent on that person—held her tight, whispered at her ear: “Ke-ke, in my eyes you are you. I love all of you. For me your existence alone is the highest meaning.”
Bai Yanci kept holding her, fingers gentle through loose hair, parting strands with skill: “Whoever you are, whatever you are—I love you. That won’t change. I promised you.”
Purple hair gathered under Bai Yanci’s fingers. When the last strand was braided neat, she smiled, satisfied.
“See how pretty.” Bai Yanci brought her to the floor mirror, proud. “That’s my girl.”
In the glass the girl was still pale, deep exhaustion—but the neat elaborate braid brought back a trace of old spirit.
She usually braided part of her hair herself. Bai Yanci’s hands were cleverer—braids more fine and alive.
Looking in the mirror she almost saw her old confident self.
“Sister, will you one day leave without a word?” Soft.
“How could I? I promised you—I won’t leave.” Bai Yanci rolled her sleeves. “These Ice-Clear Jade bracelets were a pair—I gave you the better one. I’ve given you the token—where would I go?”
“All right. I believe you.”
“And you?” Bai Yanci asked back. “If one day I’m not as perfect as you thought—ugly past, many flaws—will you still treat me like this?”
“I will.” No hesitation. She gripped Bai Yanci’s hand. “Sister, when we catch Jade Dust, break Qixie’s plot, take back the Spirit Tide jade pendant—we’ll clear your name and lift the immortal realm’s warrant. Then whether you stay in the moon palace or stand against its Lord—I’ll be at your side.”
“All right.” Bai Yanci was silent a moment, then smiled. “Ke-ke, eat something first.”
She turned to the strawberry cake on the table—didn’t see Bai Yanci’s odd stillness—took a fork and tasted careful.
Sweeter than before—closer to the bakery that day when they shopped.
“How is it?”
“Still a little short.” She tried to tease light like old days. “If I get this often I’ll think about full marks.”
Bai Yanci glanced at her, helpless.
Maybe pitying her look, she swallowed many words and sighed. “That’s not your call—it depends on my mood.”
“Then I hope you’re in a good mood every day.”
Bai Yanci was helpless. “Every day—you’re not afraid of getting fat?”
“Sister,” she asked suddenly, “if we swapped bodies for one day, what would you do?”
“Where do you get all these questions?” Bai Yanci looked at her, patient anyway. “Eat well, sleep well, take care of yourself—not run out risking your life for strangers.”
Seeing Yi Ke slowly find her old spark again, the stone in her chest finally settled.
Fallen gods governed spiritual flame—flame was the root of fallen-god power. That was why Yi Ke could wield it.
Flame’s strength hinged greatly on emotion.
Before full control, if mood stayed turbulent and dark long enough, evil-god power would overpower the other—until it replaced her whole consciousness.