Chapter 34: Shut In

Twice out of control in a short span.
Each time she killed the people Mu sent, used their lives as sacrifice to open the disordered space’s gate.
They were hateful—but didn’t deserve death.
Yet she had killed them all.
Then she’d put it behind her as if nothing happened—returned to the mortal world, stayed SI team leader, lived a normal life with a clear conscience.
As the phantom pendant’s power merged with her spiritual flame, forcibly sealed memory shards pieced together—clearer and clearer in her mind.
At last she broke the art that had sealed memory. The past unfolded before her like she was there.
She watched herself days ago lift Qiyang Sword and aim first at Bai Yanci beside her.
Then she advanced on Bai Yanci, killing intent undisguised.
That body was hers—but that was not her!
Those eyes were ice—none of the feeling a human should have. No attachment, no warmth.
Only the oldest instinct to kill remained.
Facing her attack Bai Yanci didn’t strike back, didn’t dodge—only looked deep into her.
No blame in those eyes. No reproach. Only fierce love.
Then she stopped.
The blade hung an inch from Bai Yanci’s chest—almost pierced her lover’s heart.
She had been that close—one breath from driving the sword into the one she loved.
The blade turned. She swept out a wave of force. Bureau people trying to flee died under Qiyang Sword—none left.
What terrified her more: after blood coated her hands she felt, for an instant, cold twisted pleasure linked from that memory.
The instinct to kill seemed carved into bone and blood.
She could feel it now—always at her side, sealed for years by stronger power.
Now what had been sealed so long broke its bonds and fought for a place in her mind—to rule her completely.
Fallen god. Evil god. Witch. Human.
Who was she? Where was she truly meant to belong?
Seeing Yi Ke lost in memory, Bai Yanci set caution aside, took the phantom pendant without hesitation, trying to pull her from recall.
Resonance held. Memory went on. It didn’t stop.
Today had passed everything Bai Yanci thought she knew.
Without the pendant guarding, the tower illusion would fall. If they didn’t return to reality, when the phantom died they would be buried with it.
“Ke-ke, wake up! That wasn’t you!” Bai Yanci held her tight from behind. “Don’t remember anymore, I beg you…”
This tower phantom was a trap made for Yi Ke. Divine artifacts were forged by gods—the Spirit Tide jade pendant, ancient, could summon fallen-god power best.
Resonance with the pearl could wake power that had slept for years.
She hadn’t expected the two artifacts’ powers to twine—not only waking Yi Ke’s strength but breaking the sealing art as well.
Yi Ke’s spiritual flame was tied to the phantom. Unconscious, she sank deeper.
If Yi Ke didn’t wake, Bai Yanci couldn’t force the phantom apart from her—that would leave Yi Ke’s soul in the illusion forever; all she could carry out would be an empty shell.
When the phantom ended, everything tied to it would vanish.
But the one in her arms slept on—no sign of waking.
So Bai Yanci made up her mind, bent slowly, and kissed her forehead with tenderness.
Cool lips passed every place—brow bone, lashes, until the soft mouth.
“Ke-ke,” Bai Yanci said gently, “Since fate brought you to me again, I don’t want any more regret.”
She held her lover tighter. Her mind drifted to memory.
That day in the disordered space, when Yi Ke lost control, she finally saw clearly what that power was.
The first night they met, in rabbit form in Yi Ke’s arms, she’d caught a thread of familiar breath.
In the days after she was sure—the girl in a human body held a fallen god’s soul, and more than that.
Her lover had never been only a fallen god.
The immortal realm agreed only a fallen god’s soul could mend artifacts—even the moon’s highest ruler thought so. Fact was otherwise.
Xi Yue was fallen god but thin-blooded.
After Xi Yue fell, the Lord sealed Xi Yue’s hall. Bai Yanci broke the ban at night to revive her—until she found a message crystal on the bed.
Seven neat characters on the seal: To my beloved Bai Yanci, open personally.
Xi Yue’s hand, her breath—the crystal had lain long, never shown until then.
Opening it she learned Xi Yue was not only fallen god but evil god.
With endless reluctance she burned the crystal clean so only they two would know.
She stilled, remembering Xi Yue’s words: “If one day we must part, remember—we are fated to meet again in the future.”
That was a thousand years of company in the moon corridors.
Memory sealed, identity gone—when they met again their souls would still draw together.
Fate would pull them to each other.
Fallen god, human, or otherwise—once they met she would fall willingly.
Even if Yi Ke wanted her life she would give it without hesitation.
Those calls really did wake Yi Ke somewhat.
Memory shattered before her eyes. She felt Bai Yanci’s voice and drew herself out of recall.
The instant she woke, spiritual flame broke link with the phantom.
Bai Yanci took her hand, brought unconscious Zhen Yao, cast transport at once—they were home.
After transport Zhen Yao wasn’t there.
She could tell Bai Yanci had drawn two arrays in the tower phantom—one to Tinglan Apartments, one to SI. Zhen Yao was safe with Jiang Ran.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Memory complete, guilt flooded up. She turned her face away—couldn’t look at Bai Yanci.
Bai Yanci was silent. No blame. No accusation.
She understood Bai Yanci wouldn’t blame her—and that made the guilt worse.
After a long while she asked softly: “Sister—did you seal my memory?”
“I didn’t seal it to hide. I feared you couldn’t bear the truth. Ke-ke, I didn’t want you in pain.” Bai Yanci looked down, voice heavy. “In that situation, if you hadn’t killed them, they would have killed you to get out.”
She lifted her head slightly. Bai Yanci went on: “Besides us two, no one else walked out alive. You can act as if it never happened. I’ll never tell another soul.”
She was silent a long moment, then laughed at herself—a soft sigh.
Bai Yanci was right. Opening the disordered gate needed a huge ability surge. If power wasn’t enough, someone had to be sacrificed.
Years as a test subject—those people served Mu faithfully. They might have means aimed at her alone.
If they’d had enough power to open the gate and caught her—even sparing her life—they wouldn’t have let her go.
Caught again—locked away, experimented on day after day for Mu’s ambition, no freedom ever.
She went to her room, locked the door from inside, cried without sound, didn’t sleep all night.
Deep night she remembered the legend when she’d parachuted into the SI lead seat: everyone who took that chair ended badly.
She’d thought herself tough, never believed it. The legend was false; tough was true—she hadn’t died badly, but she’d killed many and nearly killed her lover.
Next morning she emailed Ji Chengfeng her resignation.
Her state now wasn’t fit for SI work.
Ji called almost the instant he got it—talked her ear off trying to keep her.
Under his insistence the resignation was set aside.
After that she didn’t clock in at SI like before. She barely left the apartment—locked herself in her room every day.
Jiang Ran and Lin Qingzhu came once with things. She didn’t see them.
She claimed illness, skipped class a long time. Classmates visited. She fobbed them off and locked the door again.
Jiang Ci came too. She didn’t know what had happened but stamped outside: “Where’s that lecturing grit of yours? If you don’t pull yourself together I’ll crush you at the Sun-Moon Cup finals!”
Normally that provocation would make Yi Ke bristle and fight three hundred rounds.
Yi Ke only laughed, flat: “Fine. I hope you win it all.”
The sudden change silenced Jiang Ci. She wanted to say more. Bai Yanci shook her head and raised a hand to stop her.
Jiang Ci had looked down on Yi Ke at first—but after leaving confinement, hearing how Yi Ke had paid any price to save people, her view had changed.
Seeing Yi Ke like this hurt her too.
Jiang Ci looked at Bai Yanci, urgency she didn’t notice in her own voice: “You’re her sister—you can get her back on her feet, right?”
Bai Yanci’s gaze finally left the closed door and settled on Jiang Ci’s face. “I believe in her. She will stand up again.”
“Then let me reintroduce, Jiang Ci.” Bai Yanci said firmly. “I’m not her sister. I’m her girlfriend.”