Chapter 200: Confession

Sun west—Shen and Xie walked back to manor.
Great Li more open than Ming Qi—couples on street common. But Xie too famous—Longye knew him—stares everywhere.
Rumors—Prince Consort and Prince cold as ice—today hand in hand—rumor dead—if estranged—why intimate outing—gossip lies.
First real stroll in Longye. Xie knew streets—walked and bought—she not novelty-seeking—today like Luo Tan—infected—cartload of trinkets—front buying—Tieyi Congyang paying silver—still Xie eyed her suspiciously all way.
She felt lighter than ever.
Dream loosened past life's grievance, hate, rage. Revenge remains—but this rebirth not revenge alone. Stars in dark years—past not all bad—this life more precious.
Braver—steadier—franker—face feelings openly—embrace new life hotly—this her—not that her.
Light heart—smile constant—child's wonder at goods—told Xie: "Longye unlike Dingjing—Great Li regions each own flavor—someday travel mountains and rivers—every view—good."
Xie smiled: "Easy."
"Easy said—hard done." She said: "Sometimes envy wandering knights—no cares—life vivid."
He studied her.
"What?"
He smiled—took her hand: "When Ming Qi and Great Li affairs done—wherever you want—I take you."
She smiled back: "Returning my wish?"
He paused—remembered morning wish—sly grin: "You keep reminding—two months due—eager to…"
She turned away: "I thought nothing."
Congyang awkward—Tieyi face red—couldn't watch—better guard tower prison.
Moon rose—streets thin—tired from day—high spirits—Xie accompanied—returned calm—Jingzhe Guyu relieved.
Xie to bathe—Shen her room—Jingzhe hot water ready: "Bathe first—kitchen food—eat when out—tired from outing."
She agreed—warm bath—sleepy on bed—Guyu serving: "Long since madam smiled like this."
She woke to words. Often smiled—inner palace taught—lose face not war—smile even in darkness—confuse enemy—or annoy them.
Rebirth habit—smile automatic—not from heart—unlike now.
Eyes curved—warm satisfaction—plain beauty sharper—hard to look away.
Jingzhe noticed red cord on wrist—Luo Tan gave without Jingzhe knowing—curious: "New from street? Quaint—doesn't match dress."
Guyu: "Putuo Temple sold these—one coin five cords—for marriage."
Jingzhe laughed: "Five marriages one coin—cheap." Odd: "Madam never believed—why buy? Though if Prince sees—unhappy—already consort—what marriage?" Mimicked Xie's displeasure—Shen Guyu laughed.
Guyu scolded: "Imp—tease Prince?"
Shen waved: "Later—set meal in Xie's room."
Always separate rooms—Xie's own chamber. Jingzhe paused—happy: "Dine with Prince." Servants saw cold bed—couldn't advise—after ordeal—leap forward—blessing in disguise.
Shen: "This cord works."
Guyu startled—why suddenly.
Shen looked at cord—soft sigh—eyes easy.
Day would come—unlike past anxiety—ready now—this life different—people different—hope future—not bet all on one person.
Grow strong—stand beside beloved—protect what matters—learn world feud—simple.
"Bring towel—dry my hair."
……
Xie in inner robe out.
Long bath—water cool—alone no lazy smile—cool and thin in night. Not warm man—playful shell—mockery-born distance.
Exit—dishes and sweets center room.
Brow furrow: "Tieyi." Never eat in bedchamber—fastidious—sleep room sleeps—meals in hall.
No answer—door creaked—Shen staggered in with huge wine jar.
Caught—set table: "What doing?"
" searched storeroom—found this—smelled Shizhou Xiang—years old—brought out."
Pause—opened—rich mellow rush— laughed: "Know Shizhou Xiang—Tang Shu didn't stop you?"
Finest wine—priceless—manor three jars total—she took one—fifty years—Tang Shu silently weeping.
She smiled: "I've drunk it."
"Dunk?" Doubt.
Silent. As empress—palace feasts—every wine—Shizhou Xiang precious—not marvel—empress eyes spoiled—common officials never one sip.
Patted head: "Forgot cups." Grabbed rice bowls—filled two brimful.
Incredulous: "Shen Miao—you drunkard?"
"Eat with you—dishes need wine."
Arms crossed—remembered Bixiao—one bowl public drink: "Shen Jiaojiao—mind decorum."
Drunk she was vivid—grace and bold—men's eyes glued—he swallowed rage—nearly carried her off then.
Earnest lecture: "Don't drink outside—only with me—with me not much—never in public—Shen Jiaojiao—listening?"
She set bowl—swallowed Shizhou Xiang—sweet nose—throat fire—tears almost—warm rush— praised: "Worthy name."
" ignoring me?"
Glance: "You won't?" Raised bowl again.
"Hey—not planning drunk tonight—Shizhou Xiang not cattle chewing peony."
Side-eye: "No one ever called me cattle chewing peony."
"…"
Every drunk she changed—years ago Shen left Dingjing—he north—same. Another person in belly released by wine? Usually restrained—drunk—no sense—absurd acts—general's daughter only after cups.
Shizhou Xiang—mellow means fierce—drinkers know depth.
Pushed full bowl: "You drink."
He looked—she stubborn hand—sat—slow sips.
She watched—his drinking neither cattle nor dainty—free boldness—she hugged bowl—tilted back.
He few sips—she inverted empty bowl—wiped mouth—Shen Xin with soldiers in tent.
"Finished?"
Light cough: "Words for you."
……
Glance—amber wine in bowl: "Need courage—did wrong behind my back?"
"You asked my secret—no exchange—I tell."
Wine bowl paused—eyes up.
"Want to hear?" She asked him.
Set bowl: "Sounds like trap."
"Then you want—I tell."
"Strange since we met—words to Su Minglang—strike at Prince Yu—knew Fengxian pawnshop—targeted Shen second third branches—why always Prince Ding—loved him before—hate from love doesn't fit."
Each item—his suspicions.
"At first—you wary—investigated privately."
Face uneasy—yes—investigated.
"Found nothing—thought backer—or Shen hidden master."
Silent. Ji Yushu's Fengxian dug secrets—Shen like sealed stone—no grip.
"Couldn't find base—but traced years detail. Know—before parents returned Dingjing Ming Qi year sixty-eight—I nearly drowned for Prince Ding. After—temper changed—loved him before—never after."
Eyes flicker displeasure—her loving Fu Xiuyi—baffling—city knew—almost thought act—Fu outstanding not top of world—obsession shameful—compare to that hypocrite—degrading.
"After drowning—rift with second third branches—cold to Shen Qing Shen Yue—even opposed Old Madam—strange?"
"People wake sometimes."
She shook head: "Too complete. Simple—year sixty-eight drowning—bed unable wake—long dream." Lamp flicker—mist in eyes: "Long—serious—as if lived it."
"Believe such dream?" Smile: "Like prophecy."
Brow knit—gaze sharp.
"Southern governor napped under tree—dreamed emperor—flowers to mud—whole life—woke—moment passed—which real?"
"Mine longer—bitterer. I dreamed future."
"Dreamed marrying Prince Ding—Shen bound to palace. Court strife—princes war—Fu Xiuyi won—crowned—I empress—glory."
Brow raised.
"Think sweet dream—loved Fu—happy ending. I wished sweet—most terrible nightmare ever."
"Son and daughter—most dutiful children—Great Li stronger—Ming Qi invaded—borrowed Qin troops—I hostage five years Qin."
"Met Huangfu Hao Ming An."
Face grave.
"Disliked Qin royalty—they shamed me—invented step archery—fruit on head—they always missed on purpose. I practiced secretly—never hit next day."
"Five years—returned Ming Qi. New favorite in palace—Lady Mei—son Fu Sheng."
"Fu doted Mei—loved Fu Sheng—I cold empress—mocked."
"Fu struck Shen—couldn't govern. Brother Shen Qiu ruined by Jing Chuchu scandal—murder case—crippled drowned. Mother Luo Xueyan ill from Chang Zaiqing—soon died. Father aged—stripped command—drank daily. Second third branches rose."
"Mei and I fought—not for crown—for children."
"Lost—Shen destroyed—Wanyu died on Xiongnu road—Fu Ming deposed then suicide—cold palace white silk—eunuch strangled me—woke in bed—nightmare ended."
Light voice—smile—smile remote—endless bitterness—laughter instead.
Silent.
Drunk she said "this palace"—laughed young deep scheming— wondered why dreams always cold castaway—now…
"Believe my dream?"
He asked: "Do you?"
Laugh: "If not—grave before you—not person."
"Woke afraid—all would happen—lived careful—sought proof just nightmare—more I searched—more real—events matched."
"Warned Su Minglang—emperor would destroy Su—whole clan executed—you buried them. Lip gone tooth cold—Su then Shen—I warned for self—you caught."
Then suspicion—tests—clashes—minds unclear.
"In that dream—my end?" Sharp stare.
"You did well."
"Shen waned—Marquis Lin'an died in war—you took command—rumored dead—years later Prince Rui returned Ming Qi—" slight smile: "Then overturned throne."
Brow furrow: "That's all?"
"That's all."
"Thought—" brow up: "we'd have ties in dream too."
"You still think dream—or drunk babble." Eyes dim: "Maybe fine—I wish only dream."
"Unbelievable things—dreamed Jing Chuchu Chang Zaiqing before meeting—guarded because nightmare—much done only with dream's hint."
He looked—smile gentle: "You did well."
"Past gone—avoided dream's end—one thing—dream's two children gone."
Fingers on bowl paused: "We'll have children."
Deep breath—looked clear: "Listen carefully now."
"Fought lifetime in dream—new crown prince's mother—almost held court—Li Mei—Fu met on eastern campaign—minister's daughter—graceful—reads hearts. Met again—you wonder why cold after hunt—I panicked—Li Mei again."
"Now—Ye Mei."
"Understand?" she asked.
Long silence.
At last: "She's dream enemy?"
"Hated lifelong—couldn't kill with own hand—met again—Ye family's found daughter. Grudge I can wait—one thing—Ye Mei not good—for power any climb—nothing idle—Prince Rui owes her—will be her blade. Guard against her."
Picked bowl—drained—smiling—eyes cold: "Ye Mei? Fu's taste in women vulgar as ever—I'm not him."
"Dream real or not—dream grudge is grudge. Betrayed your heart—unforgivable. Your revenge—mine. Don't say want kill yourself—you're my woman—your enemy mine—our enemies countless—no yours mine—someday my enemy—you avenge—even."
Brow furrow: "You have enemies? Who?"
Rubbed her head: "Believe everything—cute."
"Impudence!" she snapped.
Drunk brought empress tone—he paused—she paused—stared: "Still want to be empress?"
"Don't want that dream twice." She said: "That empress—not twice."