Chapter 58: Heartbeat

Blurry light—lashes tremble—tears shimmer—held back—bitter drop not fallen.
Silent long—suddenly laughed—light. “Can’t choose—right?”
Hit mark—hammer silent on heart—panic.
Found her fallen hand—gripped fingers tight—stared—sorrow. “Not… I think… not that time yet—can we not think now?”
“We…”
Rest sealed by Qi Yu’s finger.
Stunned—waited hand away.
……
Thought edge of displeasure—next second—gripped held hand—firm—calm strong. “Why must choose?”
“We can not choose—right?”
Tears not dry—dazed—lost confused.
Looked in eyes—other hand removed glasses—wiped corner—continued. “Not your thing alone—our responsibility—what to choose? Face together.”
“Thought about—afraid too. If I fear you fear—like now—hand in hand.” Raised joined hands. “I accompany you—you accompany me—better?”
“Whatever—don’t face alone. End of world—sky fall—we carry together—no acting tough alone.”
“No end of world… where’d that go…” Joke eased—lips corner up bit.
Raised brow—her hand on chest. “Serious.”
“Like rain. Rain too big—I can’t hold you—you can’t hold me. Then get wet together—so what?”
“Rain is rain—however long—it stops. After rain—clear—I believe we’ll see.”
Thought more than once. Nearly thirty—no young reckless—no bloody fight with world—no cut ties mutual ruin plots.
Both women—no need one harbor—rely warm each other—patience hold—maybe survive cold winter night.
Eyes stirred—deeply moved—complex—no immediate answer.
Looked deep brows—mute—bitter unspeakable.
Not disbelief.
But… rain-soaked—stay same forever?
Unknown cost—always uneasy.
Silent—sighed fear—closed eyes—kiss on lips—forehead touch—noses close.
Soft promise. “Okay—together.”
“Let’s see scenery after rain—I think… very beautiful.”
“Right?”
……
Days before Qi Yu birthday—Zhou He message returning—met on her initiative.
Never invited to shop—chance afternoon—few customers—window second floor—sun quiet—tea time.
Month since leave—not distant—more topics.
“This—Liucheng pastry—locals recommend—try.” Gift bag from chair.
Refuse— “Bought many. Birthday soon—don’t know what gift—this works—don’t dislike.”
“Won’t—how dislike.” Took bag beside seat.
“Liucheng how? Why back so soon?”
Coffee—window—sip—put down. “Okay—small town—traffic bad—scenery food—good solo trip—you should go.”
“Homebody—alone wouldn’t go.”
Joking—drinking—Zhou He sudden. “Go with girlfriend—young—see world.”
“Cough—cough!” Choked—several coughs.
Told Zhou He early—blessing—then not awkward—face to face—shy.
Zhou He teacher-friend-elder—first time dared not meet eyes—smile seemed read through.
Teased. “Still shy—month together.”
“How? Going okay?”
“Mm good—no big fights. Similar personality—young maybe argue—now not small—hard won—no fuss.”
Recall lie—two years ago might not listen—explode at deception—nearly thirty—not child’s play—hard path—cherish. People imperfect—tolerance long.
Thought—ask Zhou He. “Can I… ask something?”
Nod. “Of course—speak freely.”
“Mm…” shy—pause. “How did you… tell family?”
Unsaid—Zhou He understood—smile—“Good question.”
Squint memory—half beat—hands folded. “Everyone different.”
“Mine smoother—parents open—persuaded while—saw insist—gave in.”
“Honestly hardest not parents or outside noise—it’s yourselves.”
Half understand—still. “How?”
“Simple—want tell parents—expect and fear reaction—hope support inside?”
“Not accepted normal—even reality—rejection norm—happy endings minority in novels.”
“Why people split? Family bias yes—but more—own fear.”
“Together start like wall—think wind rain fine—time no support—malice—family extreme—discrimination—daily costs—wall loosens.”
“One not firm—won’t bear responsibility—internal conflict—trust collapse—slow crumble.”
“Young think fearless—real moment—fear cannot hold ideal duty.”
“Reality—flaws—weakness—more than love in world—how many all for love—who guarantees?”
Listened—brow tight—eyes dark.
A while—coffee to lips—paused—bitter smile. “Hearing this… less confident.”
Cannot predict unknown—instinct fear.
Zhou He smiled soft—comfort. “Not that hard.”
“Love—two people—exists without anyone’s approval.”
“Love breaks order—not rules—lives in subconscious—no trajectory—no external prop—only one thing.”
Hand on left chest. “If here firm enough—love pure enough—never let go—then—”
“Life’s hurdles—days go on—what cannot solve?”
……
Night apartment—Jiang Ya full table—ate nothing—sofa waiting Qi Yu.
Back—hugging human doll Qi Yu gave—face on head—cute.
Put gift box—laughed. “Why look like that?”
“Told you eat first—why wait?”
“Wanted wait for you.” Tighter doll—missed her through doll.
Eyes on gift box. “What’s that?”
……
“Zhou He’s local pastry—Liucheng—good.”
“Oh.”
Chin on doll—lower face hidden—no glasses eyes blink—followed Qi Yu kitchen.
“Close with her… special pastry.”
Washing hands—water sound. “Birthday gift.”
Throat cotton—silent.
Out—glance—flat. “Remembers your birthday.”
“Mm asked—I told.” Casual—sat beside—drank water—then understood undertone.
Close ear tease. “Jealous?”
“With your permission I went.”
Did not look—face deeper in doll—merged.
Muffled. “Not jealous.”
“Not?” Light laugh—closer—arm waist—“Teacher Jiang sounds sour?”
“Air turning sour—ouch!” Hit hard.
“Teacher Jiang murdering wife.” Rubbed arm—mutter.
Turn—face in doll—hugging silent—rabbit ears down.
Heart soft—afraid too far—hug again—gentle. “What wrong?”
“Just friends—chat at shop—ask staff—check cameras.”
“Not unreasonable.” Still buried—pout.
“Then what—hm?” Worried suffocate—lift head—turned away.
Depressed.
Jealous women like this? Soft hard nothing—how coax?
Helpless—thinking—Jiang Ya turned—only eyes—soft and alluring. “Want ask you.”
“Mm what?”
“If… that night—I didn’t find you—would you… with her…” could not finish.
“Of course not.” Relieved—not blame.
Held tight—pulled doll away—happy eyes—smile explain. “Admire her—only admire—like elder—adult like—not only romance.”
Thank Zhou He’s words—use now.
Pity look—moved—pinned on sofa—kiss corner—“And who’s in my heart—Teacher Jiang unclear?”
Hand on chest. “Feel it? My heart—only races for you.”