Chapter 57: Choice

The flimsy excuse could not bear scrutiny—utterly redundant—any listener would find it strained.
Zhou Lin too—felt odd—could not pinpoint error—only watched Jiang Ya’s face.
Serious face not fully relaxed—but grip loosened—tone softer. Raised brow. “Really? All you alone?”
“Really.” Nod—unblinking at Zhou Lin—controlled racing heart—“Really live alone—Mom—don’t worry so much.”
Hearing—Zhou Lin raised brow—expression eased—released hand—sighed. “Don’t blame me suspicious… don’t want to… just too worried.”
Deep look—earnest. “From young your father and I held you in palms—afraid you hurt—afraid wrong path. Now not small—we should let go—but you… must not be foolish—know?”
“We’re closest in this world—anything—tell us first.”
Zhou Lin had been terrified a moment.
Dared not imagine—daughter cohabiting before marriage with stranger she never met—lost propriety—lost lines—how broken.
Jiang family valued “propriety”—if true—slap on family face—mockery if spread.
They raised Jiang Ya pearl—all life’s effort poured in—not ask much—live better than them—career family—secure later years—die in peace.
Gaze burning—Jiang Ya one glance looked away—breath in—pause. “Mom rest assured—I know what you worry… said yesterday busy—no mind for that…”
Raised eyes careful at Zhou Lin.
Zhou Lin remembered yesterday living room—matchmaking Zheng Yuan—he eager—Jiang Ya flat—busy no romance—Zheng could not continue.
Zheng—father’s student—guided—overseas grad PhD—medicine—good job family looks—parents pleased—Jiang Ya not fit.
Even perfect Zheng disliked—who else could she like.
Watched her grow twenty years—never failed expectations—strict but never rebel—always measured—would not hide over small thing?
Comforted self—doubt gone—held Jiang Ya—warm palm on cool fingers—patted back—kind smile again. “Okay okay—Mom knows—Mom nagging—thought too much—Mom’s fault.”
“Your character Mom knows—sensible—wouldn’t make such mistake.”
……
“Alright—saw where you live—relieved—Dad waiting home—you rest well.”
“Sea cucumber—soup these days—you work hard—eat well.”
Left balcony—walking talking endless.
Jiang Ya followed—head down—only “mm”—dazed—absent.
……
Night fell.
After dinner Qi Yu chores—Jiang Ya projector living room—bought when moved—weekend relax—rarely used—dusty.
Past eight—adjusted—Qi Yu lights off—two one cat sofa—immersed film.
Classic overseas GL film—not only love—era’s bind on women—realist.
Scenes restrained beautiful—actors vivid—kiss on screen—lingering—sound loud living room—slow yet urgent—ambience subtle.
Kiss focused—Qi Yu absorbed—person on shoulder moved—thought stirred.
Looked down—hair close—scent—heart sway—lifted chin bit.
Jiang Ya blank at her—dazed.
“What?”
Eyes on brows—screen light flicker face—dim unclear.
Hoarse. “Don’t you think… this mood… good for something?”
Still unclear. “Something what?”
Eyes dark.
Hinted this far—still dense?
Stared Qi Yu’s eyes—brow confused—could not read deep surge—about ask—lips sealed.
Kiss no longer clumsy—step by step lure—tongue touch soft—lure her in—gentle patient—want her fire.
Tonight Jiang Ya extra shy.
However teased—obedient—no bold deep like last night—only soft receive—all attacks.
Long—let go—foreheads touch—both panting—moving sound.
Kiss dazed—hand weak on shoulder—slowly opened eyes—met hazy eyes—blank again.
“Teacher Jiang—kissing and zoning out?” Low—hoarse—complaint tease.
Not first blunt—but naked words—shy—water eyes down—“Sorry…”
Apologized obediently—smiled—held tighter—kissed crown—“Why sorry—joking—still so proper.”
“Thinking what—tell me.” Noticed at dinner—off—less talk—dazed—teasing flat.
No immediate answer—on shoulder—screen eyes melancholy.
First instinct deny—recalled last night near fight—still afraid.
Half beat—inner sigh—looked up. “Didn’t tell you—afternoon Mom came.”
Qi Yu smile fell half—blink calm. “Then? Why?”
“Nothing much… said unwell—came check.”
“But… saw two cups—suspected not living alone.”
Heart tight—face changed. “You… how answer?”
“Denied of course. Said bought as set—both mine—she didn’t push—probably not suspicious for now.”
“But… inside… always…” did not finish—arms around waist—grip clothes.
Even silent—Qi Yu understood.
Did not ask direct—held quiet. Foreign dialogue still playing—air like silence—minds apart.
A while—neck moved—sudden. “Curious—your family how?”
“Afraid of them?”
“No—not afraid.” Without pause. “Not afraid… respect. Respect so much—afraid mistakes before them.”
“What’s mistake? Whatever they think wrong—is wrong?”
“…Can say so.”
Silent—pressed lips—turned—eyes quiet. “If we’re wrong in their eyes?”
“How face it?”
Light voice—arrow in weak point—speechless long.
Finally moved—helpless lost look—pleading. “I… don’t know—sorry—not thought these yet.”
Qi Yu did not let go. “Not now—later still—someday—right?”
“Don’t dodge.”
“But you said later… at least not now.” Eyes water deep—what could she do—helpless.
Back in arms—ear on chest—steady heartbeat—soft. “Ask me now—I really don’t know… more time—okay? Don’t think now—okay?”
Wronged tone—brow tight—still stroked hair—lost sigh—“Okay—won’t say.”
“One more question.”
“What?”
Stopped stroking—Jiang Ya looked up—black eyes.
“If—if parents disagree—want us break up—you what do?”
Break up—heart stabbed—deep frown—eyes stir—silent—slow shake.
Thumb smoothed brow—soft eyes—cruel words.
“Then… must choose—how choose?”
Hand down—brow knit again—bitter pain.
Must choose.
How?
Qi Yu her heart—family her flesh. No heart—shell no soul. No flesh—worse than death.
Cannot lose Qi Yu—cannot betray parents. Either pain forever—regret—never whole.
Like fish deep sea—dark—hidden—maybe never light—if surface—only death.
Dare not down—dare not up—lie maybe hide forever—dark quiet fearful two-person world.
Possible? Even she felt childish.
How choose? How can choose?
Left right—all closed cages—how escape worldly bonds.
Stared Qi Yu long—eyes dry or else—wet.
Soon mist—trembling voice—begging. “Must… choose one?”
If I cannot choose—will you be sad?