Chapter 44: Indifference

Night—Qi Yu back to apartment around eight.
No appetite today—few bites instant noodles as dinner. After wash—still early—sat at computer—writing software—maybe squeeze another chapter.
Signed a while—but new author—flat response—data below standard—no membership—zero income so far.
Qi Yu did not care—hobby first—income bonus—no income did not affect life.
Opened comments.
Few followers—few comments. Still—reader encouragement warmed her.
Cherished every serious comment—their expectation made her guilty about current state.
Luckily stock chapters—few days okay. At this blank pace—bare update day coming.
Novel titled *Midsummer*—dual female lead campus. Two girls meet at school—grow close—strive together—tender feeling—after graduation mutual—future hand in hand.
Plain story—in sea of melodrama web novels—unnoticed normal.
Stuck now—stage needing first physical contact—plot should flow—could not find trigger.
Stared at screen half day—no word—tsk—leaned back—chair rolled—restless inside.
First novel—one lead referenced her personality—thinking plot dragged campus memories.
Unluckily—most memories still Jiang Ya.
Jiang Ya seemed to occupy school days—every corner—her shadow unavoidable.
Enough.
Head back—harsh ceiling light—closed eyes—body tired—sighed from heart.
How ironic.
How long—still hung up on one person.
Sleepless night—she understood.
Maybe not that much in love with Jiang Ya—but obsession lingered—no answer years ago rebound—even hoped Jiang Ya might treat her different.
Reality slapped again.
Face hurt more than heart. Pushed away scene on loop—never so ashamed. Heaven laughing? Fool enough to fall twice same person same thing.
Much pain from unrealistic hope.
Qi Yu finally got that.
Planned two hours—near midnight still at computer.
Nearly three hours—stop start—barely two thousand words—not full chapter—inspiration spent.
Glanced time—no more torture—shut down—phone—scrolled idle.
Tang on WeChat—why no follow back—remembered downloaded that social app.
Little desire for online chat honestly. But Tang’s words that night—cliché—maybe not wrong.
Emotion flows—can shift—why fixate on one person.
Years—not long not short—locked self in memory cage—unwillingness became hurt—hard shell. Stayed in—others could not enter.
Why not let go. Maybe acceptance—real release and start.
Followed Tang—checked her page—life fragments and selfies—mostly bars—red dress—posed—unlike usual carefree Tang—different person.
Really should not let Qi Xuan hang with her often—sixteen seventeen—freedom-loving—Tang whimsy drag Xuan to those places—Xuan would go silent happy.
Kept scrolling feed—fast—under a minute per swipe—Tang’s tip—anonymous random match.
Too long without new people—or people abnormal. Several matches—age first message—role first message—Qi Yu lost interest.
One chance left.
Already in bed—no hope for last one—routine—end and rest.
Wait seconds—matched.
Qi Yu: *Good evening*
Random deer avatar: *Good evening*
Deer: *Just finished work*
Qi Yu: *Me too*
Deer: *What work?*
Qi Yu: *Not really work—writing—hobby*
Qi Yu: *You?*
Meant short chat—simple back and forth—five minutes.
Learned some—editor—author—common topic—both local—worked Yunjiang—returned this year.
Hit it off—even when time ended—followed without hesitation—kept talking deep.
Avatar became seascape—name Aria.
After work talk—Aria: *Still not sleeping?*
Qi Yu: *Can’t sleep yet—you neither?*
Aria: *Should sleep soon—workday tomorrow*
Aria: *Why can’t sleep? Something on mind?*
Eyes paused on line. Reply: *Yes—but not convenient to say*
Thought no deep ask—Aria surprised her.
Aria: *Fine—if chance—hope to hear in person*
Aria: *Happy to help people vent*
Smile emoji.
Meet in person? Had not thought.
About to brush off—stared at typed text—eyes stirred—pressed lips—deleted—replied anew.
*Okay—if there’s a chance*
……
A week—Qi Yu and Aria not frequent—but daily greetings—Aria sometimes photos—Qi Yu replied or shared shop things—when blocked on plot asked Aria—Aria seriously analyzed pace and development.
Long since deep talk with anyone. In it Aria’s experience showed—mature stable—reliable friend or respected elder.
Comfortable chat. Thanks to Aria’s advice—when free night runs by the sea—earphones—wind—dopamine—spirit much better.
“Hey Xiaojing—who’s on duty tonight?” Qi Yu at register—thinking night run—worried staffing—asked casually.
Xiaojing restocking—thought. “Mm… Liyun and Chen Chen I think?”
Qi Yu: “Oh good—two enough—I won’t come tonight.”
Xiaojing smiled. “Yujie—you been running nights? So healthy.”
Qi Yu posted after workouts—Xiaojing saw two days straight.
Qi Yu looked at her—smiled too. “Yeah—you should exercise—fix your schedule.”
“Can’t… dead tired after work…” Xiaojing pouted.
Saw figure ahead—blank—hurried to Qi Yu whisper. “Yujie.”
“What?” Still on phone.
“That… your friend?”
Put phone down—stood—looked at person center of shop—expression changed.
Person still—silent eye contact.
Surface calm—inside storm.
A while—felt Xiaojing’s curious stare—came back—blinked fast—looked at Xiaojing—who looked away—worked obediently.
“…You free now… can we talk?”
Jiang Ya’s voice light—already before Qi Yu—eyes fixed on her face.
Qi Yu did not avoid like before—met her gaze—emotion stirred—soon calm.
Sighed inside—did not understand why Jiang Ya came—no extra words—silent—pressed lips.
“Free—upstairs.”
“What do you want to drink—my treat.”
……
Second floor.
Coffee served—Jiang Ya thanked Xiaojing—looked across.
Noon—by window—Qi Yu squinted at outside—warm sun on profile—skin porcelain white—deep brows shadow—could not read eyes.
One week since that night.
Jiang Ya knew she stared long—still would not look away—even obvious overstep.
Maybe stared too long—or sun harsh—brow knit—turned back—black coffee sip—spoke first. “Why here now—you don’t work today?”
“Yes… lunch break—a little time.” Jiang Ya lowered eyes—lifted cup—sip.
Qi Yu looked—did not want awkward continue—straight. “What is it—coming this hour.”
Tone ordinary—like usual chat. That “ordinary” now made Jiang Ya stall.
Could not name the stuffiness—raised brow—light inhale—looked at Qi Yu serious. “I came—to apologize.”
Qi Yu frowned. “Apologize for what?”
Jiang Ya speechless—eyes dodged—head down—fingers on cup curling tight.
First time seeing Jiang Ya so awkward—Qi Yu only watched—no urge to speak.
Half wait—finally low voice. “That day—I was in bad mood—drank a lot—disturbed you—sorry.”
Qi Yu listened—brow knit again—soon released—curved lips. “Nothing to apologize for.”
“That day I was drunk too—not much—but you know my tolerance is poor.” Smiling at her. “So no need—small thing.”
“Next time bad mood—come drink at the shop—new product I mentioned is out.”
Looked down—drank coffee.
Tone easy natural… and a trace of indifference.
Jiang Ya heard—stuffiness turned sour—crashed through prepared words and reason.
Qi Yu seemed not to notice her gaze.
Not notice—or indifference. Jiang Ya wanted a proper smile—could not.
Being overlooked… sour hard to tell—melancholy beyond words.