Chapter 43: Parallel Lines

Caught off guard—pushed—back of leg hit coffee table corner—grunt—unsteady.
Then silence in the living room.
Remaining heat drained—gone without mercy—replaced by quiet almost eerie.
Both stood frozen—dazed—empty eyes—wooden faces—no extra feeling—motionless—as if minutes ago was not breath mingling but a panicked “accident.”
Leg still ached from the bump—Qi Yu felt none of it. Only alternating breath and heavy heartbeat said she was alive.
……
Heart hollowed out—she would have this a second time.
What feeling?
Actually none.
Qi Yu felt she no longer existed in this world—mind empty wasteland—no thought, no emotion—not even what reaction she should have now.
Only eyes growing wet—heart heavier each beat—body trembling with each.
Unfocused vision blurred—finally all mist.
An eternity—finally movement before her—flustered leaving her side—Qi Yu blinked—turned—wiped eyes hard.
Once not enough—twice—still could not wipe clean.
Gave up—hand at side clenched—nails into palm—pain nearly in flesh finally pressed back surging sourness.
“Sorry… I was drunk.” Jiang Ya’s shaking voice cut air—stabbed Qi Yu’s ear.
So easy—light as wind—one word “drunk” like death sentence for them.
Qi Yu silent—only knit brow—slowly released limp fingers—glanced aside.
Jiang Ya’s thin back to her.
Like countless forgotten pasts—what Jiang Ya left her was endless backs she could not embrace.
Once Qi Yu thought distance was worlds apart—now one inch was far enough.
This inch—the red line she and Jiang Ya could never cross.
They were parallel lines—infinite approach—never intersect.
“I…” Jiang Ya still wanted to say.
The instant she looked—Qi Yu turned away—eyes numb to cold. Lips parted—wanted words—only deep sigh—no reply.
Did not look back—still felt her gaze not leaving.
Jiang Ya eyes red—stubborn staring—stubborn waiting one word back. Long wait—only dead silence answered.
Heart torn in silence—shattered like broken moon—dull pain from flesh through organs.
“I… I’ll go back first…” Jiang Ya still would not give up.
Even so Qi Yu only moved stiff neck—never looked at her—one sentence thrown.
“You go back.”
Tone so cold Jiang Ya’s breath caught.
Some vein in heart jumped—sharp pain—breathing hurt—no more words.
Pressed lips—brow knit tight—finally released in vain—heart suddenly empty—everything unreal.
Did not beg like Qi Yu—before leaving—last look on Qi Yu.
Door closed—dull thud.
Qi Yu turned eyes—brow knit at door—nothing there—still stared.
Then collapsed on sofa—tried sober—rubbed face with both hands—exhausted.
Rubbing—paused—body trembled slight—then violent.
Belated pain filled chest—tears fell free—no sound—crying until breathless—suffocating.
How many heartbreaks can one person bear. How many unrequited loves.
Was it love? Not really love. How could love hide from light? How could love be so ironic, so twisted.
Why did heart hurt so.
Ridiculous. What was she fantasizing.
Qi Yu oh Qi Yu—you’re mad—must bloody history repeat before you? Must fall again?
How stupid. How self-deluding.
Fool.
Palm wet—Qi Yu covered face—tears still flooding—laughed—uglier than crying.
Did not know how long cried. When done—pain gone too—shell without feeling.
Sat on sofa blank—no thought—just dazed. Came back—saw plastic bag on table not thrown away.
Calmly wiped face—slowly opened bag—unfinished beer—opened last two cans—stared ahead—sip after sip—until alcohol numbed—lay on sofa—eyes closed deep.
……
Sleepless tonight—not only Qi Yu.
Late night—bedroom dark long ago—Jiang Ya tossed—failed sleep again—gave up—opened eyes—black ceiling.
Recalled everything tonight.
Too fast—too much—how to bear.
Thinking Qi Yu pushed away—heart blocked—airless—uneasy.
Unclear how they reached this step—but clear—after tonight what faced them.
Between them—not gulf but abyss—abyss without redemption.
Could not cross—never could. Why? Because she was coward.
No moth-to-flame courage—dared not face inner self—even answer surfaced—even about to burst—still wanted alcohol to bury—as if nothing happened.
How could that work.
Jiang Ya—how ugly you look lying to yourself.
So pitiful. Jiang Ya—how do you deserve love.
You don’t deserve…
Lying flat—eyes dull—dry from staring.
Did not want to admit—but image of leaning toward Qi Yu kept tearing reason.
Body so craved touch—desire so shameful.
Shameful…?
Suddenly Jiang Sheng and Zhou Lin’s words flooded mind.
Restrain self. Discipline strictly. Careful to the end.
She had done all.
Why still pain.
Before tears brimmed—closed eyes—one tear from corner.
Turned over—more tears over bridge of nose—brow knit—limbs curled—body small ball.
Face in quilt—shut out world—finally silent cry.
……
Next day Qi Yu at shop very early.
8:30 AM—no customers—Xiaojing and other full-time on duty—greeted together when Qi Yu entered.
Changed uniform upstairs—came down—chatted with both.
Xiaojing hired earliest—closer to Qi Yu. Making delivery orders—looked at Qi Yu—dark face—tentative. “Yujie—you sleep okay last night?”
Qi Yu opening express box—looked up. “A bit.”
“How’d you know?”
“Obvious.” Pointed at her face. “Dark circles—eyes a little swollen.”
“…Is that so.” Curved lips—eyes down—continued hands. “Insomnia last night—sleep early tonight.”
Finished unpacking—told both. “No customers now—Xiaojing orders, Chen Chen take packaging from this box—restock—straws, napkins too.”
“I’ll wash face first—you watch shop.”
Went straight upstairs.
Whole morning Qi Yu helped in shop. Tang came afternoon—heard from Xiaojing Qi Yu came at eight—surprised.
Wanted Qi Yu rest—she take shift—Qi Yu energy high—busy—would not idle chat—orders or cleaning—did full-time work—two staff watched silent—dared not speak.
Evening Qi Xuan after school—boxed lunch and oden to shop. With Tang persuaded Qi Yu to rest.
Three on second floor—weekdays quiet—only their chatter.
“So many people buying oden—I queued five minutes!” Xuan ate lunch—mouth full—still talked to Tang.
“Okay okay—thanks kid—good Xuan—good little sister~” Tang reached to pat head—Xuan dodged.
“Muttered—I’m almost eighteen—not a kid.”
Tang laughed. “Not yet—and when you are—still way younger than me—you’re a kid.”
“I’m not!”
“You are—and talking back.” Tang nudged Qi Yu’s arm. “Your sister talks back now—you teach her respect.”
“……” Qi Yu on phone—glanced—flat. “You two are both childish.”
“And don’t talk while eating.”
Looked back at phone—no expression.
Xuan and Tang exchanged looks—understood.
Not blind—saw Qi Yu low today—face so dark—hard to look at.
“Hey sis—I told you—Teacher Jiang boyfriend thing—actually not—today I just…”
Cut off before finished.
Qi Yu did not lift head. “Boyfriend or not—her private life—why students care.”
“Also—school gossip don’t tell me—not interested.”
Cold water on Xuan’s head.
Xuan awkward “oh”—shut topic.
Tang saw her wronged look—wanted to laugh. Kid cute though.
Half hour later Xuan to evening study—only Qi Yu and Tang.
Busy all day—Tang could not watch—told Qi Yu go back—she stay—Xiaojing said Qi Yu here since eight.
Qi Yu tired—blinked dry eyes—stood—dizzy—sat again. “Fine—nothing to do at home anyway.”
“Don’t you write?”
“No inspiration.”
“Okay…” Tang sighed quietly—studied Qi Yu’s face—could not help. “What’s wrong today? Bad mood—tell me?”
“No.” Acting light now—raised brow. “Didn’t sleep well—not bad mood.”
“Right—what’s this app called? I’ll download too.” Saw Tang’s screen—still that social app.
Tang surprised—looked at phone—at Qi Yu. “This? You didn’t want it before?”
Suddenly enlightened—before refused to death.
“That was before.” Fast—phone out—searching app name.
Familiar face flashed in mind—wiped away.
Light smile—shallow. “Now—I want to change life too.”
“Meet new people—not bad—maybe someone suits me.”
“Well…” Tang looked at Qi Yu—dared not argue. True in theory—but one-eighty attitude—something off—could not say.
Maybe… wood finally blooming?