Chapter 64: The Years

Did she blame Bai Yanci? Yes.
Hate? Not really.
Bai Yanci had been so good—feelings tangled and twisted—shape even she couldn’t name.
Facing a lover’s lies—after calm—hate thinned—only disappointment left.
All along she only wanted honesty—freedom—no coercion—no puppet play.
But honestly—after hearing Diting and Qingxi—she wanted Bai Yanci unharmed more.
Moon palace had most technique texts—Diting lost patience—death order given.
Qingxi feared Diting—had clawed her way up—loyal still. Qingxi would turn the earth over to find Bai Yanci.
Fate put her on the moon—heard that plot—maybe heaven’s will.
Soul leaving the body—calculation—and spite.
Spite enough—if Bai Yanci had reasons she couldn’t speak?
She always made excuses for Bai Yanci.
But her sister—past or present—ancient War God or moon great immortal—same soul.
After ages—how could she become someone else entirely?
Reason and feeling screamed: What are you waiting for? Back to the mortal world—find Bai Yanci—don’t let her be hurt—too late if you wait.
No divine power—then on the spirit body she sensed Spirit Tide Pearl’s trace.
Embedded at the heart—soul exit had dragged the artifact out.
Perfect—no helpless ordinary person.
On the moon—pearl power full—enough to draw a transport array—back to earth.
Light faded—first stop Tinglan Apartments.
She knew—in her absence Bai Yanci would guard there—nowhere else.
Door—mess inside. Bottles tilted everywhere—day but curtains drawn tight.
Bai Yanci asleep on the sofa—thin blanket only.
Door loud—Bai Yanci’s fingers moved—murmured: “…Ke-ke—is it you? You back?”
Heart jolt—hid herself—dodging questions and eyes. “Sacrificed” before everyone—returning rash—no story ready.
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But Bai Yanci said no more after that line.
Look closer—sleep talk.
Three years—for an immortal eternal—a blink. Her Yanci still dreamed of her.
Bai Yanci turned—blanket slipped to the floor.
She couldn’t bear it—wanted to cover her again—saw Bai Yanci’s wrist—a shocking scar.
So long—blade work.
Qingxi hadn’t reached Jintian yet—what could wound a great immortal?
Qixie traitor? Mu’s god-making plan actually worked—modified humans matching immortals?
Qiyang by the table—still dripping—wound fresh—as if just from the moon.
The horror—Bai Yanci’s own hand.
No healing—the scar stayed—never erase.
Soul out—the old body was shell—divine-made but hollow—soon wither—dust.
Bai Yanci used half her power plus blood to nourish—barely stop decay—hope consciousness might gather—soul return someday.
Touch that body—took back spirit flame and consciousness. The soulless shell—dead—need not live again.
She stood—looked at sleeping Bai Yanci—emotions a knot.
Keeping the shell—only needed spending consciousness power.
Bai Yanci refused—wouldn’t spend a thread of consciousness—used her own force instead.
Grievance and love tangled—couldn’t tell which weighed more.
Or they fed each other—more grievance—more love one notch deeper.
Human stories often said—the harder you try to forget—the deeper the mark.
The less she wanted to blame Bai Yanci—the deeper the love—love without reason—blame gone—willing to lose herself in dark—for one warm glimmer.
Room unchanged—only a notebook on the desk—open—pages scattered—Bai Yanci’s hand.
Latest line on the paper: Ke-ke, what trapped me was never loneliness but a wasteland that looked bright and busy.
Turn back—every line began with “Ke-ke”—sincere—deep—a love letter only for her.
She saw the date at the end—three years later.
So long since she left?
Three years ago she ended her life before many—dead don’t return—someone buried Yi Ke’s identity.
Her face now matched Milt—not human Yi Ke—walk openly—no suspicion.
Immortals need no sleep—with Yi Ke she’d kept human rhythm.
Now Bai Yanci drunk—waking—head splitting—sat up swaying—a familiar figure with her back turned.
Like construction’s barrier—only dreams had this.
Struggle from dream—wake to another dream.
She stood: “Ke-ke—hungry? Want strawberry cake?”
Yi Ke startled—turned—lost.
She laughed light: “This is your home—you’re host—I’m guest—why that face?”
But if her Ke-ke really returned—maybe it should look like that.
Lost—grievance—rage—wished her dead.
Yi Ke shocked too—why no accusation—like nothing happened?
But the notebook—empty bottles—she couldn’t watch Bai Yanci ruin herself—anger flooded—grievance wouldn’t vanish easy.
Greater good—she came for the moon palace.
She said: “Qingxi hunts forbidden moon arts—will find Jintian soon.”
Bai Yanci unmoved—brows lifted—puzzled at her.
Nowhere to vent—voice rose: “Bai Yanci—deaf? I’m telling you serious business!”
Bai Yanci smiled faint: “Ke-ke—you seem brighter today than every day before.”
“What nonsense?” Urgent—furious—empty bottles—fuel on fire—settling the bill: “You said when you’re away I can’t care for myself.”
She demanded: “Bai Yanci—look at yourself. Three years without me—did you care for yourself? Live proud and free like you said?”
Bai Yanci pulled a smile—not angry—self-mock laugh.
“Yes—should be like that.” Alcohol not gone—eyes hazy—low: “Ke-ke—you’re right to scold—should say so—I feel a little better.”
“…Is that what I meant?” What spell was on Bai Yanci today—words didn’t connect. “I blame you for preaching what you can’t do. After I left—this half-dead act—for whom?”
She wanted more—looked at Bai Yanci—couldn’t bear it—only: “Forget it.”
“Forget it”—past written off—no more counting.
Bai Yanci stood sudden—staggered—almost hit the table.
Hands faster than thought—caught Bai Yanci.
Warm sister under her palms—realized mid-anger—let go.
“Why stand? When did you learn drink? Bad tolerance—sit still—showing off.”
Taunt first—couldn’t bear harsh words—soft ones stuck—tone bent sideways.
Bai Yanci looked up—eyes on her—like looking at a thing—strange memento mood.
“Ke-ke—you know? I’m really happy. After you left I read many books—human civilization—drink drowns sorrow—I believed—bought this wine. Since then I often see you.”