Chapter 42: Honesty

“Just got here. Believe me?”
Bai Yanci flat: “No.”
Even meeting like this—no panic on Bai Yanci’s face. Not a trace.
When they met, besides occasional tsun, Bai Yanci had always been this calm.
She’d thought it was great-immortal bearing. Now a sharper word fit: contempt—or disdain.
Like humans ignoring ants—Bai Yanci didn’t speak it, but toward humans it was instinct.
Her gut: Bai Yanci came to the mortal world to recover Xi Yue’s complete divine consciousness.
Yet she felt the aim was more than that.
Two meters apart. Bai Yanci looked utterly steady.
She was pale—more at a loss.
A long while before she asked: “Sister—isn’t there anything you want to say to me?”
Bai Yanci opened her mouth—searching words. Another long pause: “Ke-ke, I only wanted… to understand more of your past.”
Two short lines—a long time passing.
Understanding her past was normal to ask. Bai Yanci had chosen secrecy and investigation alone.
Years of loneliness made her unable to take any dishonest hiding.
In the silence—a standoff without words. She wouldn’t look away—caught every small shift on Bai Yanci’s face.
Still no crack. She asked again: “Really only that?”
“I admit—I have selfish reasons.” Bai Yanci stepped forward. She was wired high—stepped back.
Bai Yanci stopped. Didn’t advance.
Eyes up again—the usual gentle face.
“Two different sources of power in you—they tangle, can’t release, spill out and make you lose control.” Bai Yanci explained gentle. “Ke-ke, believe me—I trace your past to find if there’s a way to end this completely—not to harm you.”
“Two different sources?” Voice heavy. “Besides Xi Yue—who else?”
Bai Yanci’s eyes dark: “Ke-ke, you know.”
“Yes. I know. The fallen-god fragment in me is hers, isn’t it.” Serious before Bai Yanci, word by word: “Yanci, do you think I’m Yi Ke—or fallen god Xi Yue?”
Bai Yanci’s face finally changed: “Ke-ke, you and Xi Yue are one being in essence. I swear here—I will bring all of you back.”
Deep feeling—but her heart cooled inch by inch.
“Yanci” from her own mouth—tone deliberately like Xi Yue’s.
Bai Yanci moved slightly—the flawless gentle mask cracked.
She didn’t want Xi Yue to erase her will—yet basely used Xi Yue to peek past the surface mask at real Bai Yanci.
She laughed at herself—disgusting beyond help.
“Sister, answer me—do you see me as Yi Ke or that moon fallen god?” Cold now.
Bai Yanci paused, slow: “Ke-ke, you’ve always been yourself. I know—your temperament—if you learned the truth sudden you couldn’t bear it, so…”
“So you hid it and did everything alone?” Grievance—tears held back. “From the start you’ve treated me as Xi Yue?”
She tried to stay the strong cop she was at the station—didn’t want to break before Bai Yanci.
Only that way could prove to her lover she could face this together.
“At first my arts were lost—I didn’t recognize Xi Yue’s consciousness.” Bai Yanci looked up. “Believe me—you’re different from Xi Yue. Xi Yue… rarely had expressions as vivid as yours.”
Silence. Bai Yanci went on: “On the moon Xi Yue wanted no strife—but as fallen god the Lord forced her to sacrifice and mend the Spirit Tide jade pendant. However it goes—I don’t want you to follow her path.”
Too sensitive—or she wanted too badly to believe.
The words cut her from Xi Yue—not one merged person.
All she’d ever wanted was to be herself.
She asked: “Sister, tell me—why did you really come to the mortal world?”
“You’ve left the human body’s limits. Sooner or later you’ll be a true fallen god. Before the Lord finds you I will recover your complete consciousness.”
As she’d guessed.
“Complete me?” She laughed light. “Sister, why fixate on bringing all of me back? Are those forgotten memories really that important?”
“Even Xi Yue a thousand years ago with full fallen-god power—her consciousness wasn’t whole.” Bai Yanci urged. “Her whole life until death she sought wholeness. Don’t you want greater power—want to know who you are?”
Of course she did.
Half the anger when Bai Yanci broke her concealment was spite.
She wanted her origin more than anyone.
Last time at Wangshu she’d begged Bai Yanci to come search clues with her.
More than anyone she wanted lost memory back—but after knowing Xi Yue she didn’t know what face to put on it.
When Xi Yue’s part returned, her twenty human years against a thousand-year great immortal—would she still be her?
Desire for origin won over reason.
No use tangling—better search with Bai Yanci.
“Sister, I’m not unwilling to seek whole consciousness. I just… don’t want you hiding it from me.” Earnest. “I’m your lover—your future wife. All I ask is honesty…”
“All right.” Before she finished, Bai Yanci agreed—unexpected.
She’d imagined long persuasion for a sliver of truth from a thousand-year immortal.
Even imagined Bai Yanci leaving her until Xi Yue’s memory could be restored.
But Bai Yanci said it grave: “All right.”
She looked up, eyes bright: “Sister—you mean from now on you won’t hide anything?”
“Yes.” Bai Yanci said it again, solemn.
Not fake—a real promise.
She almost didn’t believe it. Careful: “Really?”
“Really.” Bai Yanci answered. “Ke-ke, I’ll respect your will. I will never deceive you.”
Hearing it the mask fell. Grievance and love flooded back together into her chest.
No more distance—she stepped in and held Bai Yanci tight.
Bai Yanci bent slightly—a feather kiss on her forehead.
Her lashes shook like shock—then she understood.
Eyes met—no holding back. She kissed her.
In the tangle of mouths her nose filled with Bai Yanci’s scent—mind blurred—only cling to her lover.
After the deep kiss she buried in Bai Yanci’s arms, murmured: “Darling, don’t hide things from me again.”
“All right.”
“If there’s a dangerous plan—don’t shut me out again.”
“All right.”
“Then when we’re home—you tell me everything you hid.”
“All right. Whatever you say.”
Bai Yanci took something from her embrace: “Ke-ke, I found this message crystal at Wangshu—about your origin.”
“What’s a message crystal?”
“Divine power can fix what you want to say onto a letter—that’s a message crystal.” Bai Yanci handed it over. “After the war, as far as I know, Xi Yue was the only fallen god left in the immortal realm. Only you can open it.”
The moment she touched it—blinding white light.
When light faded they stood in mist—not quite the moon palace.
Bai Yanci knew at once: “This is… before the ancient war of gods.”
When the gods had not yet fallen.
An immortal knelt and reported: “War God, Milt has slaughtered countless—truly demonized. My Lord, pass judgment at once!”
“Outrageous!” The War God clenched fist. “Since Milt has gone mad we can’t spare old ties—kill her utterly!”
“Yes!”
Before demonization Milt governed life—cultivation immensely deep. Four gods together couldn’t wound her.
After demonization—resentment added—power unfathomable.
War God returned wounded to the immortal realm: “Damn—Milt after falling is this strong!”
“My Lord, delay and she’ll be harder to kill!”
War God wiped blood from his lip, eyes resolve like death: “Now only my life—for mutual destruction with her!”