Chapter 65

*Freedom*
In the frozen dark, something shattered under that slap.
Zhu Yu had never been treated this way—and least of all by the person she loved.
Pride and tangled thoughts ended in one clean strike, like a kite string pulled to breaking: taut, then *snap*.
Shame, rage, and confusion surged at once. In her mind Bai Shuzhou had always been a flawless moon; tonight the crescent tilted, nearly mad, showing her its shadowed side.
Arrogance. Power. Control.
Even when a ruler bent down, she could not truly meet you eye to eye. Her quiet warning was proved at once—in a way that burned jade and stone together, declaring how unequal they were.
A contract bound them into the closest, most distant alliance.
Bai Shuzhou had long been used to the crush of power and money. From the day she understood the world she had watched hidden currents rise. Only black ink on white paper carried enough weight to frighten.
*Betray me, and die.*
Rank and wealth could buy almost anything. The price she offered was high enough to purchase a substitute for the sincerity she could not give—including Zhu Yu’s heart.
The royal house never believed in true feeling. In the whirlpool of power, it only made you die faster.
That was what Zhu Yu had been running from all along.
Even the jewels and privileges handed out afterward—she had lied to herself that this was how Bai Shuzhou loved.
*Love me. Just love me. Blind me with sweetness and I will gladly be your knight, your prisoner.*
Not even that small, pitiful wish had been granted.
The woman looked down at her as at a treasured possession. She had bought her with an expensive contract; of course she could do as she pleased.
Besides… Zhu Yu was in the wrong.
This one brooch was enough to condemn her to death. Nan Gong’s smiling gift was both an exit and a dead end.
*You are free.*
*Free—within the limits of my will.*
Her ears ached and felt heavy, the foreign weight of the stud making Zhu Yu frown. Cold sapphire pressed skin, tearing her between illusion and reality again and again.
Bai Shuzhou still cupped her chin and kissed her.
Her lips were thin, often seeming cold—but the soft corners brushed again and again over Zhu Yu’s burning cheek like tender petals.
The split feeling stiffened Zhu Yu’s whole body. Tears slid silently; she did not move. She could not understand how Bai Shuzhou could bring bone-deep pain and fear while, in trembling she could not suppress, raining down addictive tenderness.
Her body undoubtedly loved her. No gap between skin and skin.
Even after their fiercest quarrel, cold eyes still held hunger. After forcing the stud through Zhu Yu’s flesh, that hidden possessiveness grew stronger. Bai Shuzhou’s breath deepened slightly; moist lips took on an odd color, as if she could feel Zhu Yu’s pain herself.
Zhu Yu had always been a plain white page. Now color was forced onto her by force. Under messy black hair the diamond blue looked uncanny—visual shock stronger than any scent.
The first thing anyone would see on Zhu Yu was this ear stud.
*You’re mine.*
*Remember the pain I gave you.*
Soft lips at her cheek curved; cold words fell at her neck. Bai Shuzhou was smiling.
She was pleased with Zhu Yu’s obedience. Only then was Zhu Yu fully in her grasp.
Gradually Bai Shuzhou noticed something wrong. She looked up. The girl bit her lip hard, unnaturally quiet—numbness worse than desire or grief.
Zhu Yu gave no response to her “love.”
Before, when they kissed, Zhu Yu always watched her with hot, pure eyes—black pupils full of joy she could not hide.
Her cool voice should have gone hoarse; at the peak Zhu Yu should have kissed back, opening and asking with girlish heat, filling every empty crack.
A little roughness was allowed. Zhu Yu liked her intoxicating breath, liked whispering nonsense names that belonged only to her and undoing her composure.
*Sister. Zhouzhou. My princess…*
Bold in public, Zhu Yu was especially sweet in bed. She should have sparkled, gripping her hand—or somewhere else.
Not like this: broken silence, playing a soulless object. Her eyes no longer shone. Stone. Sapphire light replaced them.
Bai Shuzhou’s light smile froze. Zhu Yu’s passive resistance stirred irritation.
She had not pursued her fault further. She had lowered herself to kiss her. What was Zhu Yu still unhappy about?
She knew Zhu Yu too well. Those small panicked motions—she was still hiding something.
Bai Shuzhou tolerated no grit in her eye, but killing intent softened at Zhu Yu’s suppressed tears. Besides, she would not give that Federation agent the satisfaction.
Zhu Yu was obedient now. Later… she would be more obedient still.
Cold fingertips tucked stray hair behind Zhu Yu’s ear. Patiently she kissed away tears and coaxed: “Not again. I forgive you.”
Imperial thunder raised high and set down gently. From start to finish, aside from one flash of killing cold, her deep eyes barely shifted—like a glacier beneath water, only indifferent shadow showing; danger and undercurrent unknowable below.
Bai Shuzhou’s voice was beautiful, slightly hoarse now, softened and sweet. After waiting a day and a night she urgently wanted her—another claim, like this ear stud.
Zhu Yu lifted her face. Dull pain seemed to peel soul from body. She watched Bai Shuzhou quietly.
In anger anything could be said; Zhu Yu understood. After the slap Bai Shuzhou’s surging emotion stilled and turned gentle again—gentleness that almost swallowed Zhu Yu, made breathing harder, cold and fear worse than those vertical pupils.
She had been utterly calm and indifferent when she spoke those words and drove the stud through flesh.
She had meant it.
*What am I in your eyes?*
*I don’t understand—I don’t understand!* Bai Shuzhou’s sweet taking had become burden—a sword between them. Every approach twisted her heart raw.
They had just fought. Trust was gone. Bai Shuzhou wanted touch to confirm feeling; to Zhu Yu this naked invitation felt like her only use.
White sheets were soaked through.
Zhu Yu trembled uncontrollably. Before Bai Shuzhou could pull her close again, she caught the wandering hand. The cinnabar mole on pale wrist looked startlingly red. What she had once craved, she now resisted.
They were still in the heat of love. That day Zhu Yu had wandered the streets in despair and realized she would die for Bai Shuzhou.
She had come to this world because of her. Perhaps she had loved her long before.
She could not leave her. After sharing warmth in the dark she could not bear to be alone.
But not companionship like this—not only the body…
Zhu Yu said tiredly, “I don’t want this.”
Bai Shuzhou paused. Fear and numbness in Zhu Yu’s eyes stopped her smile at the lips; they sharpened to a line. “You’re refusing me?”
After Zhu Yu had looked at her with the same gentle eyes even when she showed her cruelty—why resist now?
Bai Shuzhou bit her lip lightly, trying to press down unease and irritation. She softened her tone, stroking Zhu Yu’s flushed cheek with infinite tenderness. “Did the slap hurt?”
Zhu Yu: “No. I just think we should both calm down.”
Bai Shuzhou’s skin was fair; when anger rose, faint pink spread quickly.
The nightgown was soaked through. Zhu Yu’s hand still bore her clear wetness. Desire sharpened by high emotion burned reason—yet Zhu Yu wanted to calm down?!
“Why?” Bai Shuzhou lightly rubbed the dazzling gem on Zhu Yu’s earlobe. The sting forced Zhu Yu’s eyes open—nowhere to hide, forced to meet those gloomy eyes.
*Just be good. You’re fascinated by me too. Why stop now?*
She raised a hand. Zhu Yu shut her eyes instinctively. That fear and evasion pierced Bai Shuzhou. Cold fingertip pressed Zhu Yu’s vulnerable gland. As grip tightened, her cool voice lightened—and the strange tenderness in her eyes vanished entirely. Dragon vertical pupils held only bone-deep cold.
“Is it because of that woman?”
“I told you. If you betray me, I will kill you myself…”
Choking at her throat whitened Zhu Yu’s vision. As an Alpha she could break free—but the brief good mood collapsed into chaos again.
She knew Bai Shuzhou might only be using her, even playing with her, squeezing her dry and discarding her when done. Gifted healers were precious.
Zhu Yu’s silence read like consent. Enraged, killing intent seeped from Bai Shuzhou’s bones. She could kill her as easily as crushing an ant.
*To die here, in Bai Shuzhou’s arms, at the height of passion—maybe not bad.*
They were not divorced yet. Not torn apart. Not hated to the bone, hunted by her hawks. Zhu Yu was already satisfied.
*Maybe if I die I transmigrate back?* A relaxation she had never felt. Problems that had tormented her no longer mattered.
*Sister, I want to go home. How does a person ever find happiness in one life?*
…
Fear became surrender. The hand pressed to the quilt still shook—less and less.
In dim consciousness she suddenly opened her eyes and looked deep at Bai Shuzhou. Clear eyes held no hate, no anger. She smiled lightly, sun-stupid, like countless times before.
Unconsciously her lips parted. Throttled throat could barely shape broken sound—perhaps no one would hear. She said: “Good…bye.”
*Why goodbye?* Zhu Yu did not know. Her subconscious only wanted to part from Bai Shuzhou.
*Sleep.* A voice seemed to soothe softly.
Pain would end at last. Her soul stilled; dark ripples stirred in the dry place. A sleeping shadow was about to open its eyes.
*When did I last see Zhu Yu smile like this?* Memory surged; the brain stabbed—as if something important were about to be lost.
*Why don’t you push me away? You’re an Alpha…!*
Bai Shuzhou’s pupils shrank. Knuckles released at once; vertical pupils twisted slightly.
She seized the falling hand, hesitated, bent to pass spirit force through her lips, patted and soothed Zhu Yu’s thin back again and again until slow heartbeat steadied.
Bai Shuzhou held the girl close. Long silver hair fell on her shoulder—holding hard yet afraid to press close. Cold moonlight poured in. After long silence she said hoarsely:
“I’ll give you one last chance. A chance to dissolve the contract.”