Chapter 19

I shouldn't have said this first.
For a confession, I should have said something more tender and sweet as an opening.
Not bring up yesterday's events.
The physiological heat had long faded under the effect of strong medicine, but my head seemed to still be stuck in yesterday's confusion and impulsiveness, only wanting to stubbornly understand her feelings, wanting to prove that the palpitations I usually felt weren't my own delusion.
This wasn't a good question. I was very clear about that.
Because no matter what answer Luo Zhuowei would give, I found I couldn't find even the slightest bit of... regret for yesterday's actions in my heart.
There was shame, there was embarrassment. But more than that was indescribable heart-pounding. That indescribable palpitation and excitement were like a bodily instinct, carved into my blood. The moment I knew she wouldn't resist but would accept, it became exceptionally surging.
That's right.
I shamefully had not even the slightest bit of regret.
That was indeed an accident of emotional loss of control, but if time rewound a hundred times, this accident would evolve into intentional, premeditated.
It was also the moment I kissed her that I realized: From some time I hadn't even noticed, I had held indescribable feelings for her.
To my question, Luo Zhuowei fell into troubled silence.
She probably also hadn't expected me to ask this. Those beautiful eyes rarely showed a trace of confusion. She seemed to have something to say, first pursed her lips, then seemed at a loss, the action of opening her mouth stopping abruptly, returning to wordless silence.
To make the highland flower, who was flawless in how she treated people, show such an expression, my abrupt question must have really troubled her.
The scale in my heart had already slid toward the bad speculation I had anticipated. The mental preparation I had done before speaking was fragile as paper, being crumpled bit by bit by this silence.
"About yesterday, I'm sorry."
To be honest, my nerves responsible for rational thinking were probably already a mess. What supported me to continue speaking was only that palpitation she gave me, and the sincerity of having to tell her all my thoughts.
"Two things." I looked at her, word by word: "One 'sorry' is because yesterday I... without your permission, I'm really sorry."
"And also," I tried hard to keep my words from trembling, but the trembling and panic from this self-exposure were too intense, no different from a death row inmate about to be executed.
"...Yesterday's events, for me, weren't an accident."
In this dizzying moment, I could only hear the sound of my heartbeat.
The wind inopportunely blew, through the unclosed window, lifting a corner of the curtain.
The milky white soft fabric rose, forming a brief, invisible wall between Luo Zhuowei and me.
And it was this one second of not being able to see her face and expression that the restraint that had been on the edge of wavering broke.
What I wanted to say wasn't just the above.
By the time I reacted, I had already reflexively stood up and pulled aside that obstructive curtain. The chair was pushed out of its position in that moment of lost reason.
What I wanted to say was—
"I like you."
Nervousness made my voice somewhat hoarse. The last word had clearly gone off-key.
Accompanying these words, the soft curtain was brushed aside by me somewhat roughly. Luo Zhuowei's face reappeared before me. The setting sun, already completely dyed orange-red, fell on her profile. The hair strands that had become messy from the wind just now all glowed with warm golden light.
Her eyes were somewhat red for some reason, but this version of her made me inappropriately feel my heart racing.
She was also looking at me.
My voice and her voice collided again.
"I like you."
She gently repeated.
To be honest, Chen Hang actually had no confidence in his confession at all.
After all, the object of his confession was Luo Zhuowei—that Luo Zhuowei who floated lightly in all the boys' hearts, unattainable by anyone.
Chen Hang thought, the expression on his face right now must be very stupid.
His "I like you" had collided with Luo Zhuowei's voice. His mind seemed to set off fireworks in that instant. The dizzying happiness falling from the sky almost knocked down the disbelieving boy. His whole person was about to fall into this dazed emotion.
The Luo Zhuowei before him, also blushing and looking very nervous, felt extremely unreal. Chen Hang really wanted to hug her tightly to confirm this wasn't his dream, but he didn't dare to be presumptuous. He could only stare dazedly at Luo Zhuowei's beautiful face, not even daring to confirm again what Luo Zhuowei had just said.
Those already innocent-looking downturned eyes, now because the corners were slightly red, looked pitiful and cute like a puppy.
Damn it. Chen Hang suddenly realized with dismay that his eyes were welling up with slight heat because of Luo Zhuowei's words.
"...Chen Hang?" Logically speaking, after mutual feelings were revealed, there shouldn't be this kind of expression. So Luo Zhuowei, who had become worried instead, hesitantly approached him first, slowly reaching out, as if wanting to touch Chen Hang's face: "What's wrong?"
Being this pathetic in front of the girl he liked really wasn't cool at all, but Chen Hang really couldn't be cool and calm like Lin Haoyuan in this situation.
He held Luo Zhuowei's hand that wanted to touch his face, changed it to gently holding it, then raised his other arm to cover his face and wipe randomly: "It's fine, I just..."
I just, am too happy.
His precarious self-esteem made Chen Hang, who had just gotten his wish and confessed, too embarrassed to finish. After all, being so happy you want to cry—that was really too embarrassing for a boy.