Chapter 36: Burden

Seeing Jiang Ya off—near noon mealtime.
Sick—not much appetite—breakfast bowl enough—skipped lunch—tidied home—medicine—back to bed.
Thought slept enough—not sleepy—sick body hit bed—fatigue like heavy cotton pressing—lying dizzy, unwilling to move.
“Achoo—” Sneeze broke quiet—Qi Yu sat up from quilt—tissue fast—nose red—but mind clearer.
Phone vibrating muffled under quilt—came back—curled in—phone out.
Tang Xuejun—expectation that had flashed gone a moment.
Tang’s message—no urgent business—morning sales roughly—mostly venting. Slow prep got delivery rider snappy—creepy male gaze—random confident guy hit on her—shut down with “I’m a lesbian.”
Qi Yu read—could imagine from excited text—smiled.
Replying—incoming call interrupted.
Seeing contact—slight pause—pillow behind back—half reclined—answered.
“Hello?”
“Xiaoyu—Mom heard from your sister you have a cold—better now?” Warm voice—Qi Li.
“Fine—little cold—much better now… ahem! Ahem…” Tried suppress cough—speaking—throat itch escaped.
“Coughing so hard?” Qi Li’s tone shifted—urgent. “Voice very hoarse—throat infected? Really unwell go hospital—don’t tough it out.”
“When I was young I ignored my body too—now older— ailments everywhere.”
Qi Yu bedside water—warm throat—then: “Really fine—I know my body—maybe caught chill days ago—ordinary cold—just took medicine—should be fine tomorrow after sleep.”
Qi Li’s low sigh at her ear—earnest: “Good—you’re grown—you know to care for yourself—Mom can rest easy.”
“Mm…” Qi Yu answered light—eyes down—hands on quilt—fingers rubbing. Did not know what to say next.
Silence—about to find excuse hang up—Qi Li again: “Right—shop going okay lately? Busy?”
“Okay—not very busy.”
“Oh… cook yourself or delivery every day?”
“Delivery—mostly at shop—no time cook.”
“Then pick reliable places—don’t eat unsanitary.”
“Mm.”
Both silent—conversation dead again.
After silence Qi Li seemed to sense—no more—only: “Rest then—Mom won’t disturb you.”
“When free remember come home—tell Mom what dishes you want—Mom will cook.”
Hearing something—heart suddenly sour—pressed lips—no immediate reply.
Lately every two days she messaged Qi Wenping about life. With Qi Li her mother—last text chat—could not remember when.
Without today’s call maybe would not think of Qi Li. But all these years—cold or not—Qi Li never blamed her—always a mother who loved her.
Qi Yu told herself too—maybe leaving back then had reasons—had no choice.
But if so—why never explain all these years.
Year Qi Li left she was seven. Seven—but did not mean she understood nothing.
Before seven—countless times heard Qi Li and that man fight. Screams, blows, shattering glass—childhood memory.
That man—her father. Even before Qi Li left he had abandoned her. Years—forgot his face—forgot she ever had a father.
Once—night they thought her asleep—door argument woke her—ear to door—cracked open—man and woman fighting.
Man violently smashed a fish tank—pointed at woman—filthy curses.
Woman unlike now—face twisted—grabbed anything, threw at man.
Sharp voices nearly pierced her ears.
—“Qi Li you disgusting! Any shame? Doing this! Tomorrow I divorce you! I don’t want the kid either!”
—“Divorce then! Think I wanted to marry you? If my mom didn’t threaten suicide would I have had your kid? Every second with you sickens me! Don’t want the kid don’t dump her on me! I don’t want this burden!”
I don’t want this burden.
Burden… she was a burden…
“Hello? Xiaoyu—still there?” Qi Li’s voice pulled her from memory.
“Yes… I know—I’ll come when free.” Eyes down—voice flat.
Looked at bedside table—stared two seconds.
Qi Li: “Good—rest well—Mom hanging up.”
“Wait.”
“What is it?”
Qi Yu silent—opened bedside drawer—bank card from inside.
Card Qi Li gave—checked balance later—108,000 plus—not spent a cent.
Card in palm—thumb over surface—eyes unclear emotion.
“What is it? Trouble—hard to say?” Qi Li soft asking.
Qi Yu’s mind—Qi Li’s gentle elegant face—and memory screaming she was a burden—felt split.
“Some difficulty—hard to say?”
“No… just…” Looking at card in palm—window light gleaming on it.
Brow knit—lump in throat—gripped card tight—released.
“Nothing much… may be at shop a while—might not have time back—you… take care of yourself too.”
Other end seemed silent.
Qi Yu frowned at the card—pale face—worry between brows—more frail melancholy.
“Good… good… Mom knows—Mom will—you too—take care—Mom loves you—most worried about you—understand?”
Qi Li almost choking voice in Qi Yu’s ear—heart stuffed tighter—stuffy—sourness flowing through.
She did not understand.
In this world what was true, what false—or always mixed—dig too deep maybe meaningless.
Hung up—stared at card a while—heavy sigh—put card back deepest in drawer.
……
Next day—weekend again. Fine weather—bright sun—clear sky—past one afternoon sunlight slanting through café side windows—warm gold foil on floor—fine dust floating in light. Beautiful afternoon.
Time fast—open half a month—traffic steady—not crowded—but this afternoon unexpectedly good—two empty tables downstairs—second floor nearly full.
Luckily last week hired two staff—both women—fresh grads—could not find work—temporary here. First two days Qi Yu and Tang trained—after skilled—barely needed watching.
No new customers now—two staff busy in prep area—Qi Yu at register on phone—occasionally delivery orders—Tang Xuejun, Qi Xuan, Li Tong at window table.
Qi Xuan gaming focused—Tang beside her—Li Tong opposite—chatting lively.
Too compatible—regret not meeting sooner. Just finished Li Tong’s work topic—her media account’s emotion series—good feedback.
One theme too long gets stale—now stuck on next collection topic.
Just worried—Li Tong stared Tang a while—inspiration struck.
Excited: “Hey—I got it!”
Tang looked. “Got what?”
“Next material.” Li Tong said. “Teen crushes done—adult love too.”
“Like breakups—why lovers split—how to adjust after…”
Tang sipping coffee paused—eyes half narrowed.
Set cup—looked at Li Tong—tugged mouth. “Use my story then—so melodramatic—guaranteed viral.”
Beside her Qi Xuan’s game finger paused—stopped playing—asked Tang. “Xuejun jie—you dated? Never saw boyfriend posts?”
Innocent face—Li Tong glanced Tang’s expression—hand over smile.
Tang half-smile at Qi Xuan—slow. “No boyfriend—girlfriend.”
“Oh—split now—ex-girlfriend.”
“G-girlfriend?” Qi Xuan looked at Tang—remembered—Moments intimate photo with a girl—thought close bestie.
Result… did not expect…
Surprise on face—dazed at Tang—looked away—back to phone.
Tang: “What? Weird?”
Qi Xuan muttered small: “Not… just didn’t expect… you like girls too…”
Tang blank—brow knit—caught keyword—arm around Qi Xuan’s neck—pulled close.
Teasing: “Too? Why too? Kid… you too?”
“What!” Qi Xuan eyes wide—loud—customers looked—Qi Yu looked over—frowned.
Saw sis’s eyes—lost composure—embarrassed to two snickering—explained fast: “Not me… I said too because… our class has some too!”
“Oh~” Tang laughed enough—but not dropping it—worse—pinch Qi Xuan’s face—smiling ask: “Not not then—why so excited?”
“But…” Tang ruffled Qi Xuan’s short hair—clean boyish vibe on pretty features.
“You cut hair this short—so handsome—must attract girls?”
“No!!!” Qi Xuan hissed—face red white—cute in Tang’s eyes.
“Okay okay joking—don’t take serious.” Li Tong mediating—Tang too—“She’s so young—don’t tease.”
“Fine fine sis wrong—apologize okay?” Tang patted hair—sweet coaxing tone.
Apologized—Qi Xuan really mad—not looking—Tang raised brow—turned Li Tong other topics.
Did not notice—Qi Xuan’s ears red as blood…
……
Past three Qi Xuan met friends—Tang out for movie—Li Tong stayed—today invited Jiang Ya—should arrive soon.
Sure enough—soon Jiang Ya’s slender figure entered—presence drew some glances. Qi Yu knew she was coming—not surprised—smiled greeting.
“Here—your coffee—just made.” Li Tong as Jiang Ya sat—pushed latte over.
Jiang Ya thanked—set bag—deep breath—sipped coffee.
Li Tong chatted naturally. “How’s school work lately?”
“Mm… same as before—adapted is fine.” Jiang Ya set cup—smiled.
Li Tong laughed. “True—used to it—teaching tiring but No. 1 High treats well.”
“Better than me unemployed—hahaha—mooching—Mom nagging me out every day…”
Then noticed Jiang Ya not looking at her—gazing register direction.
“What’re you looking at?”
Jiang Ya came back—tugged mouth—long spoon stirring coffee. “Nothing…”
“Those two girls… new hires?”
Li Tong looked—Qi Yu laughing with one employee.
Turned back. “Yeah—hired last week—both seem nice.”
“That one talking to Qi Yu now—pretty cute—probably young too.”
Jiang Ya listening—barely curved lips—looked toward Qi Yu again.
Caught the harmonious scene—long-haired girl, pretty face—whatever topic both laughing nonstop. Then Qi Yu picked drink on table—before finishing—the girl seemed said something—Qi Yu stunned—watched girl take her drink—drink straight from her straw.
Jiang Ya blank—watching them—long unable to recover—smile hard to hold—slowly fell—until not a trace left.