Chapter 66

Even if he hadn't reacted at the moment, did he still believe her now?
Shuangyun's eyes swelled. She blinked hard, but didn't know how to reply.
Couldn't tell him lightly like before: I was lying to you, Teacher Cheng!
Because his sincerity was too heavy. So heavy that Shuangyun knew if she just let go, he would completely shatter. She hadn't cared about others before, but... she seemed to care about his.
Her fingers tightly gripped her phone. After a long time, she replied: "Much better, thanks."
The other side of the chat quickly showed "typing."
Shuangyun stared at that, saw "typing" appear repeatedly. She could almost imagine that scene—him carefully, carefully editing text on his phone.
Her lips became dry from anxiety while waiting. Finally saw the text Cheng Lang sent.
Shuangyun remembered, he'd never been someone good at expressing emotions with words. Many times Cheng Lang's words were short, messages too. She'd never received such a long message from him:
Cheng Lang:
Shuangyun Liang, you left. I respect your decision. That asset statement had no other meaning. I hoped you wanted to know more about me, but I judged wrong and received the wrong bitter fruit.
Being with you is something where sweetness and pain are both extreme, just like your love and not-love—two sides of a blade with no transition.
Shuangyun Liang, you told me then not to put my future in the studio, in case one day it caught fire and I also burned myself. I think you were very right. So this time, I also don't want to put my sincerity in the studio.
No matter the result.
The driver asked Shuangyun if she was okay?
Shuangyun realized tears had already dripped onto the back of her hand.
Her thoughts were stuck in mud, simply couldn't leave this message. But the next second, she received a rare voice message from Cheng Lang.
Shuangyun's vision was blurred. She clicked on that voice message and pressed it to her ear.
Cheng Lang's voice was as calm and steady as always, but words she'd never heard:
He said: "I, Landon Cheng, Cheng Lang, love you, Shuangyun Liang. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you."
Shuangyun cried like rain. Her fingers accidentally touched the voice message. Cheng Lang's voice played again:
"I, Landon Cheng, Cheng Lang, love you, Shuangyun Liang. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you."
The driver didn't understand Chinese, thought Shuangyun was crying because she might miss her flight. Quickly said: "I'll try to drive faster. Although it's blocked, it's not impossible."
Shuangyun shook her head: "...No, no, it's not your fault..."
The car's temperature was comfortable, but Shuangyun felt a fire burning in her heart.
Didn't Cheng Lang know she'd left because of that asset statement? He must know, must have seen it. But clearly knowing she would run away when seeing his sincerity, why did he still say this?
Why did he still tell her so clearly: I, Landon Cheng, Cheng Lang, love you, Shuangyun Liang.
Shuangyun had said "like" many times, but her "like" didn't have much "like" in it. But Cheng Lang only said "love" once, and in it was weight Shuangyun didn't dare bear.
Many years ago, that locked studio that took Shuangyun's father became Shuangyun's life warning—don't lock away what you want, because one day it will catch fire and harm yourself. Many years later, Shuangyun followed this standard and also expected everyone around her to do the same, including Cheng Lang.
If you want to go to New York, go. Don't stay because of anyone.
Cheng Lang did exactly that.
That fire hadn't spread to Cheng Lang, but at this moment it seemed to place Shuangyun in the midst of it.
Shuangyun's studio was on fire.
The further the car drove away from Cheng Lang, the more intense that fire became.
Shuangyun thought, how had she so easily practiced those carefree life attitudes before? Actually, it was all because she didn't love that much, didn't care that much.
So she could give up at any time, anywhere, wouldn't compromise for anyone or anything.
What she'd thought was courage was actually abandonment without cost, because she'd never cared.
And Cheng Lang?
Knowing she'd fled immediately after glimpsing a corner of his sincerity, he still told her, extremely seriously and clearly, that he loved her.
Almost throwing a heavy sincere heart down a certain cliff, and he had no hesitation.
Shuangyun had thought countless times, her father shouldn't have permanently locked all his paintings in that studio.
And what about her right now? Was she going to lock Cheng Lang there too?
Unable to accept that "love" was always a state in the present moment? Unable to accept that "love" might disappear?
Didn't have this courage? Shuangyun Liang?
Didn't dare admit her love for Cheng Lang? Because once admitted, loss had a price.
Actually, you're not even as good as anyone, are you?
After intense crying, her mind welcomed extreme clarity.
Shuangyun only asked herself one question: If her life ended today on this journey away from Cheng Lang, could she leave without any regrets?
Shuangyun's answer needed no thought.
She wanted to go back! Go back! Go back!
She wanted to respond to Cheng Lang's words. She didn't want to leave New York right now!
Her palm forcefully wiped away all tears. The call to Cheng Lang needed no hesitation.
The other end picked up the phone the next second. Also came Shuangyun's most familiar voice: "Shuangyun Liang?"
His voice was very low, carrying some disbelief.