Chapter 32

“Mm.”
“Feeling any better?”
The man’s large hand was still resting at his waist. Only then did Zuo Nian realize he wasn’t wearing a stitch, his body pressed close against Duan Baisui’s.
Heat rushed to his ears and cheeks. He licked at his dry lips. “Much better…”
“So in the end, did you really not know the difference between a cold and a heat,” Duan Baisui asked, “or did you deliberately not tell me?”
Zuo Nian’s lashes lowered. Yesterday he had truly been down with a cold. Today, though, he’d known something was wrong the moment he woke up. The feverish heat and restless pounding in his body had made him want to cling to Duan Baisui. When he’d seen him to the door that morning, he’d almost blurted out, *Don’t go. Stay with me.*
Dr. Jin had told him all about the first heat and how to handle it.
So in truth, he’d hidden it on purpose.
“From that look on your face, I’d say you knew,” Duan Baisui said.
His hand at Zuo Nian’s waist tightened. Zuo Nian’s whole body went rigid. In a tiny voice, he said, “I didn’t… want to bother Gege.”
*Didn’t want to bother him?* The words made Duan Baisui let out a short, incredulous laugh. “So who were you planning on ‘bothering,’ then?” he asked. “Dr. Jin, or that pile of little toys? In the end, wasn’t I the one who came?”
“I’m sorry…” Zuo Nian whispered, biting his lower lip in embarrassment.
“What are you apologizing for?” Duan Baisui rubbed his thumb over that bitten lip, freeing it from his teeth.
“Just… sorry…” Zuo Nian’s lashes trembled. “For making you smell disgusting pheromones. And for making you leave work.”
For a moment, Duan Baisui was stunned. “What nonsense are you talking?”
How could they be disgusting? They were so sweet—just like the person they came from. He liked them very much.
“The doctor said, because I had surgery, I couldn’t use suppressants for my first heat. That’s why it turned out like this,” Zuo Nian choked out. “From now on, I’ll be prepared. I won’t spring it on you again.”
He thought that as long as he stopped doing anything that upset Duan Baisui, he’d be allowed to stay by his side. Their marriage wouldn’t break.
He really was selfish. Even after he’d learned how Duan Baisui truly felt, he still couldn’t let him go. He was awful—just like those vicious supporting characters on TV.
They stared at each other for a long time. Zuo Nian searched his face, but saw no change in his expression. He’d thought that if he said this, Duan Baisui would be pleased—that he would praise him—but nothing came.
At last, Duan Baisui loosened his arm around him. “Suit yourself,” he said quietly.
He got out of bed and left the room. Dim light filled the bedroom; once more, only Zuo Nian remained.
Reaching back, he touched the nape of his neck where the mark now lay. His Sui‑sui Gege had still gone softhearted in the end and fulfilled the bare minimum of an Alpha’s duty.
Guilt twisted in his chest, but he couldn’t bear to give up this scrap of warmth. The contradiction gnawed at him until he broke. Burying his face in the pillow, he sobbed in anguish.
He was so stupid, so selfish—clinging to Duan Baisui and chaining him down with one‑sided love.
He didn’t know how much time had passed before the door opened again.
The Alpha stood silhouetted against the light, a cup of water in his hand. “You said everything you wanted. I did everything you asked,” he said, baffled. “So why are you still crying?”
Zuo Nian scrubbed hastily at his tears and tried to pull up the smile he’d always worn in the past. But the corners of his mouth just wouldn’t lift; they kept drooping. “The doctor said it’s a normal physical reaction,” he lied. “I’m not doing it on purpose.”
Duan Baisui came over and helped him sit up, letting him drink a little water.
Once he’d calmed somewhat, Duan Baisui said, “You heard everything yesterday, didn’t you?”
He’d nursed a shred of hope that Zuo Nian hadn’t heard those cruel words. But the way he’d been different these past two days, his quiet misery—it had made it clear that he *had*.
Duan Baisui didn’t want to run from this. He believed they needed to lay things out plainly—to own up to his past immaturity and coldness, and to explain how he felt now.
Zuo Nian stared dully at him. A hopeless, fearful emotion surged up, and tears slid silently down his cheeks. That was answer enough.
“Can we talk?” Duan Baisui sat on the edge of the bed, his cool fingertips brushing away those tears.
Zuo Nian covered his eyes with the back of his hand. “I don’t want to listen…”
He was terrified—terrified that Duan Baisui would say, *Maybe we should just end this here.*
He wasn’t smart. He didn’t know how to handle this, didn’t know how to argue for himself or put into words just how much he loved him. All he could do was plug his ears and play dumb. As long as he didn’t listen, there was still room to turn back.
“Back then, I didn’t have the heart for romance,” Duan Baisui said anyway. “I didn’t even understand what it meant to like someone. The better you treated me, the more pressure I felt.”
“My classmates called you my ‘child‑bride.’ Their teasing and jokes annoyed me. I didn’t want your whole life revolving around me. At that time… I simply couldn’t respond to you.”
To Zuo Nian, those words were a blade. He broke down in fresh sobs.
“I was full of myself,” Duan Baisui went on softly. “I thought you were too young to understand real feelings. I thought you’d been misled by that childhood promise—made to believe it was love. Maybe you just saw me as an older brother, and mistook that dependence for romance.
“I told myself that one day you’d realize I wasn’t that great—that you’d meet someone you truly liked.”
“But I *do* know the difference…” Zuo Nian sobbed. “If I only thought of you as a brother, my heart wouldn’t race every time I saw you, I wouldn’t keep dreaming about you, wanting to hold you, wanting to kiss you… I *know* all that. Even you treat me like I’m an idiot!”
“I’m sorry. I never wanted to deceive you,” Duan Baisui said thickly. “But going abroad… it wasn’t to run from you. I’d planned it long before. I never hated you. I just never imagined you would actually wait for me so long.”
“We promised each other,” Zuo Nian cried, like a child. “We said we would, back then… I was going to wait, no matter how long it took… You forgot, didn’t you? Then why did you agree to marry me?”
Why had he married Zuo Nian?
Thinking back, Duan Baisui had been facing mandatory matching. The authorities had given him a week to date the Omega they’d selected and decide whether to accept. He hadn’t wanted to be arranged like that.
He’d met that Omega once. They hadn’t had a single topic in common. They’d sat in awkward silence while the coffee in front of them went cold.
He didn’t want a marriage based solely on pheromone compatibility.
The bureau kept pressing, and he’d grown thoroughly fed up.
And just then, Zuo Nian had come to him with his medical report, cheeks flushed as he said, “Gege, my glands are all healed now. I’m still an A. A means pretty good…”
His face had been red, his eyes bright. At first, Duan Baisui had only thought he was there to share good news. “Congratulations,” he’d said sincerely.
Then Zuo Nian had taken out that cheap plastic ring, eyes shining with joy. “Gege, can you marry me now?”
Duan Baisui had been taken aback. His first thought had been: *He still remembers something that happened when we were so little? He even kept the ring?*
“You kept this?” he’d asked, expression complicated.
For a heartbeat, Zuo Nian had looked stunned. Then his ears had gone scarlet. “Mm. It’s our token. You gave it to me.”
It was hard to describe what had gone through his mind at the time. He’d thought eight years would have blurred those memories—that Zuo Nian would understand how absurd that promise had been when they didn’t even know what marriage meant.
But no—he’d remembered. All those years.
He hadn’t agreed on the spot. He’d told Zuo Nian he needed time to think.
And he truly had thought it over.
He’d asked Xu Yi whether he’d married Duan Yan because they’d known each other so long, or because of their ninety‑five percent compatibility.
Xu Yi had been surprised. “I married your father out of love and responsibility,” he’d said. “I love him, and he loves me. We chose to be responsible for each other’s lives. It has nothing to do with time or numbers. Even if your father were a Beta, I’d still spend my life with him.”
The answer had left Duan Baisui more lost than ever. He felt he’d never met that kind of person—someone who made him reckless. He’d been adrift.
Until one day, at a gathering with friends, he overheard a rich young man bragging about a blind date.
“He’s just an idiot. Easy enough to handle,” the man had said smugly.
Laughter had gone up around the table. “Seriously, Qi Yue? You’d even go for a fool? You must be *really* desperate.”
Qi Yue had pulled two scantily dressed “ducklings” closer and drawled, “What do you know? That face is something else. And if he’s an Omega, he’ll probably be very convenient in bed. Idiots are great—easy to coax, easy to train. However you want to play, it’s just a matter of a few words.”
The glass in Duan Baisui’s hand had stilled, a wave of disgust rising in his chest.
“Which Omega family?” someone had asked. “Do I know them?”
“Surname Zuo… first name… Zuo Nian? I think that’s it.”
He’d put his glass down.
Drunk and lewd, Qi Yue had gestured crudely as he talked about “that waist” and “that ass.”
Before anyone could react, Duan Baisui had grabbed him by the collar and punched him.
He rarely fought. But the alcohol had gone to his head, and this man’s voice and words were intolerable.
The incident had made a bit of a stir. The Qi family wasn’t on the Duans’ level, but Qi Yue’s father was still a name in the business world. If the matter had blown up, Duan Baisui might well have hit the news for beating someone’s son half to death.
Duan Yan had sat him down for a talk. “Why did you hit him?” he’d asked.
“I didn’t like his face,” Duan Baisui had replied.
Duan Yan had laughed. “You’re not that impulsive.”
Later, after speaking to others who’d been there that night, he’d learned the whole story.
No one had exactly been in the right, and Qi’s father was a shrewd man. He and Xu Yi had once discussed a partnership. In business, you met the same faces over and over. Qi Yue hadn’t been badly hurt, and no one wanted a scandal, so the matter had been quietly settled.
That was when Duan Baisui had learned that Qi Yue was the grandson of Grandpa Zuo’s old comrade‑in‑arms. The two elders had once shared life‑and‑death friendship. After Qi Yue returned to China, Grandpa Zuo had mentioned Zuo Nian to him. Qi’s family hadn’t minded Zuo Nian’s condition at all and had quickly arranged the blind date.
In public, Qi Yue had played the perfect gentleman. He’d treated Zuo Nian with impeccable politeness; no one could see his true nature.
Zuo Nian’s sweetness and A‑rank status had made the Qi family dismiss his slowness. The two elders had been eager to seal the match.
Everyone had known it was a blind date.
Everyone but Zuo Nian, who’d thought Grandpa was simply entertaining a guest.
When Zuo Nian had brought soup for him after the fight, asking anxiously if he’d been hurt, Duan Baisui had looked at his worried face—and thought of Qi Yue’s filthy smirk.
He’d realized then that if it hadn’t been Qi Yue, it would be some Liu Yue, Zhou Yue, or Wang Yue. With a situation like Zuo Nian’s, it would be very hard for him to meet an Alpha who would truly treat him well.
He was so obedient. He never cried or complained. Even when bullied, he only endured in silence. In a bad family, he would have no way to defend himself. He would be crushed.
And on top of that, he’d waited for Duan Baisui so many years. He had believed in that promise. It was Duan Baisui who’d given him hope—how could he go back on his word now?
Eight years. For eight years, Zuo Nian hadn’t forgotten him for a single day. With what kind of heart had he been waiting?
“Does your hand hurt, Gege? I’ll put medicine on it,” Zuo Nian had said then, reaching for the first‑aid kit when he saw the scrapes on his knuckles.
He’d caught his hand instead. “I’ve thought about what you asked me last time,” he’d said solemnly.
“Ah?” Zuo Nian had blinked, not quite following.
“Let’s get married.”
Xu Yi had said marriage needed love and responsibility. Duan Baisui had decided he would, just as he’d promised as a child, take responsibility for Zuo Nian’s life.
He’d thought that was all it was.
But with someone as pure as Zuo Nian, someone who carried him in his heart so completely—how could he *not* be moved? What he felt now was no longer just responsibility. He liked him. He liked him very, very much.
“So it really wasn’t just to escape mandatory matching?” Zuo Nian asked now, his voice shaking.
“No.” Duan Baisui’s answer was unwavering. “At first, it was about keeping my promise—about taking responsibility for you…”
Zuo Nian threw himself at him, biting his shoulder like a mad thing—though he hadn’t used any real force at all. It didn’t hurt one bit.
“Don’t say it,” he mumbled, half‑sobbing. “Bad Gege…”
“But now, I truly like you,” Duan Baisui finished gently, stroking the back of his head. “It’s the way an Alpha likes an Omega. The kind of like that makes me want to mark you. The kind that looks a lot like obsession.”
Zuo Nian thought he must have misheard. “What?” he whispered.
“I’m sorry. I really am slow, and I’m not good at saying these things,” Duan Baisui said, his voice full of tenderness. “I’ve always thought you were adorable and beautiful. Your pheromones smell so good. You always catch my attention. I can’t help thinking about you, wanting to hold you, wanting to be close to you.
“You not telling me about your heat—it did make me angry. But I know it’s because I haven’t done well enough. I haven’t given you enough trust. I still have a lot to learn. I don’t know if you’re willing to give me another chance.”
Zuo Nian was stunned for a long time before he finally asked, in a tiny voice, “Is it really true this time? You’re not just saying that to help me get through my heat, right?”
Duan Baisui bent and brushed a kiss over his lips. “If I’m lying, I’m a dog.”
Laughter and tears collided inside Zuo Nian. He hadn’t even finished crying before he wanted to smile. The result was a ridiculous little bubble of snot. Duan Baisui pulled out a wet wipe and cleaned him up, saying, “If I do something badly, tell me. We’re married; we should be honest with each other. You can question me, get mad at me, act spoiled—anything…
“You’re the first person I’ve ever liked. I’m clumsy and stupid about it. I keep making you sad.”