Chapter 16

There was too much to thank.
She thanked Jing Miao for saving her son twice.
She thanked him for forgiving her.
She thanked him for giving her another chance to be a mother.
Xi Siyan’s heart tightened. “Mom…”
Wiping tears while smiling, she said, “Mom is happy. Did I scare Miaomiao?”
Jing Miao shook his head, still instinctively hiding behind Xi Siyan.
Sitting on the living-room sofa where he had once lain before, Jing Miao hugged the dog and found a little sense of familiarity again.
“Gege, just now… did auntie cry because I didn’t call her ‘mom’?” he asked softly, wearing the expression of someone who had done something wrong. “I-I just blurted—”
Xi Siyan kissed his cheek. “No. Call her whatever you want. Miaomiao doesn’t have to mind anyone. Just mind yourself.”
Jing Miao shook his head, unconvinced. “If gege’s mom is sad, gege will be sad too. I don’t want you to be sad.”
Xi Siyan patted his head. “She’s not sad. She’s happy—crying because she’s overwhelmed. Gege isn’t sad either. As long as Miaomiao is happy, I’m happy.”
The “child” smiled, glanced at Su Wan and Xi Yucheng to see they weren’t watching, then secretly kissed Xi Siyan once.
Xi Siyan’s heart melted.
At the dinner table, Su Wan served Jing Miao food, copying Xi Siyan’s movements and picking out thin strands of ginger for him.
“Miaomiao, try this. It’s delicious. When your gege was little, he loved this stir-fried beef dish.”
Jing Miao ate obediently, then looked like he had something to say.
Su Wan, thrilled that he ate it, held back from standing up and cheering. She watched Jing Miao expectantly.
The beautiful boy looked at Xi Siyan, then at Su Wan, made a huge effort, and slowly said:
“Thank you… thank you…”
“No need to thank me, no need! Don’t be polite with auntie!” Su Wan cut in, already reaching to peel shrimp for him. “I’ll get you more—”
“No…” Jing Miao protested softly. “I… didn’t finish…”
Su Wan suddenly tensed. Even Xi Yucheng’s hand—about to pour soy milk—paused.
Xi Siyan showed no particular reaction. He kept eating normally beside them.
“Thank you… thank you, mom. It’s very good.”
Su Wan cried for the second time that day.
This time it wasn’t happy tears bursting out of joy.
She dropped her chopsticks and fled from the dining room into the living room, grabbing tissues. She cried and then, through tears, smiled again—blissfully.
Xi Yucheng remained relatively calm. He poured the soy milk and handed it to Jing Miao.
“Here, Miaomiao. Drink some soy milk.”
Xi Siyan took it and set it in front of Jing Miao, reminding him not to chug it in one go—to drink slowly.
Once you’ve done it once, it’s easier the second time. This time Jing Miao spoke much more smoothly:
“Thank you, Dad.”
And so Xi Yucheng and Su Wan sat together in the living room for five minutes.
After dinner, Xi Siyan and Jing Miao played with Xiaoxiao in the garden.
Jing Miao couldn’t do intense exercise. After running for a while, he grew tired. He leaned against Xi Siyan, and the two of them sat on the swing watching the sunset.
“Gege, did I do well today?”
Xi Siyan scraped his nose lightly. “Miaomiao was so good.”
“Then can I ask for a reward?” he said softly.
Xi Siyan lowered his head and kissed him. “Didn’t I tell you kissing isn’t a reward?”
“No!” Jing Miao sat up and protested. “Not that reward.”
He looked embarrassed. The sunset dyed his face red.
“It’s mom’s birthday… Can I make a wish?”
Xi Siyan laughed. “No, Miaomiao. That’s someone else’s birthday cake.”
Then he teased gently:
“Why do you want to make wishes at everything? You want to make wishes at fireworks. You want to make wishes at other people’s cakes too.”
“Whatever you want, gege will give you. So you only need to make wishes to gege. Understand?”
Jing Miao smiled—like he had been waiting for that line.
Just like before, he clasped his hands and made a wish to Xi Siyan:
“Can gege tell me you love me today… before it gets dark?”
Under the long sunset and the human world’s dusk, they slowly climbed out of the abyss together. In more than a thousand bitter nights, they found love.
Xi Siyan turned his head and kissed Jing Miao’s hands. In his eyes was the reflection of endless rosy clouds—and, at the center, one person.
“I love you, baby.”
Jing Miao froze briefly. His heart, which always seemed to miss a beat, was suddenly filled to overflowing with joy. He pounced and hugged Xi Siyan, sticky as candy, laughing in bright little bursts as he fell into Xi Siyan’s arms.
Xi Siyan laughed with him.
Su Wan and Xi Yucheng stood only a few meters behind them, watching. Xiaoxiao bounced around their pant legs.
Xi Yucheng wiped at the corner of his eye and patted Su Wan’s shoulder.
“Let’s go. Let’s go inside.”
That night, Su Wan took Jing Miao to set off fireworks in the backyard. Jing Miao was thrilled. Back in the room he was still chattering excitedly—saying Mom was so good, Dad was so good, saying he liked gege so much.
Xi Siyan took off his socks and washed his feet, held him while he rinsed and washed his face.
That night they didn’t linger in intimacy. Xi Siyan kissed him as usual, soothed him to sleep, then lay for a while. Only after he was sure Jing Miao was asleep did he put on his coat and step out of the room.
His parents were in the living room. Seeing him, they asked softly, “Miaomiao asleep?”
Xi Siyan nodded. “Mm. He was too excited today. It took a long time to settle him.”
Su Wan let out a breath. “Siyan… come back and live here.”
“Professor Jin told me you want to stay at the university as a teacher because it gives you time to take care of Miaomiao, right? Come back. Mom promises I can take good care of him. Keep working with Professor Jin on your research projects.”
Xi Siyan didn’t speak.
Xi Yucheng added, “You like this work. You’ve studied for so many years and put in so much. Your mother and I are proud that you’re this kind of talent. Don’t waste it, don’t give it up.”
“Trust us this time. We can help you take care of Miaomiao.”
Xi Siyan shook his head. “No. It’s not because he needs care that I want to be a teacher.”
He and Jing Miao had both brushed past death once. He was twenty-seven now—his life already a third gone.
“It’s not that he needs me,” Xi Siyan said softly. “It’s that I can’t live without him.”
Life was too short. He didn’t want to spend long years missing someone. After tasting sweetness that reached the bone, he couldn’t swallow bitterness that only burned the skin.