Chapter 21

Fu Xiling didn't touch Shi Zhi.
He only made a misaligned move—maybe from Shen Jia's angle, it would look like they were kissing.
They were indeed very close, almost exchanging each other's breath.
Neither of them closed their eyes; they just stared at each other in silence.
At the banquet, Fu Xiling didn't drink. He used half a cup of citrus soda to deal with everyone who raised a glass to him.
After meeting more times, Shi Zhi realized Fu Xiling wasn't as self-centered as she'd imagined. In a way, he did have gentlemanly manners.
When alone with Shi Zhi, Fu Xiling didn't smoke. When driving or handling things, he also didn't drink.
After making a round of the banquet hall just now, he still smelled clean and fresh—only the steady, gentle scent of woody cologne.
Fu Xiling tilted his head and brushed aside a strand of hair that the night wind had messed up on Shi Zhi's cheek.
His breath fell along the side of her face, warm but faint.
Back when Shi Zhi kissed Shen Jia, she'd never had such an ambiguous atmosphere.
Shen Jia was too polite. Before kissing, he'd always ask, "Is it okay?" "Can I kiss you?" "Are you scared, Shi Zhi?" And he kissed her forehead far more often.
By contrast, Fu Xiling's aggressiveness was strong—even though he hadn't done anything.
Shi Zhi rarely felt this way, like a tiny current crawling over her skin.
It wasn't that they hadn't had physical contact. When she and Fu Xiling had been "acting" on B University's campus before, she often hooked his arm; she had been wholly focused, without the slightest nervousness.
Tonight was a bit abnormal.
Shi Zhi's breathing went a little unsteady, her skin hot. She didn't like this abnormality. Frowning, she suddenly kicked Fu Xiling.
Fu Xiling hissed, bending slightly, laughing as he rested his forehead against Shi Zhi's shoulder. "You can really bring yourself to hit your partner like that?"
Shi Zhi lifted her chin proudly, like a black swan.
The wind stirred her skirt. She said, "Carry me back inside."
Fu Xiling teased, "How? Princess carry?"
"Sure."
Fu Xiling easily lifted Shi Zhi and walked through the open balcony doors.
The night couldn't compete with artificial lighting. The wooden stairways connecting the villas were lined with light strips.
The light was bright enough that Shi Zhi could see Shen Jia standing rigidly there, like a lonely tree in the surrounding quiet. She could also see his reddened eyes.
Back inside, Shi Zhi struggled out of Fu Xiling's arms once. Fu Xiling loosened his hold.
She landed steady, took the remote, drew all the floor-to-ceiling curtains, sat on the sofa, and said nothing.
Shen Jia must have had a thousand questions.
Why had she appeared at the resort project? Why was she mixed up with Fu Xiling? What exactly had she and Fu Xiling said about Tao Jia...
Maybe Shen Jia would feel sad, unwilling, lost.
Good.
Because Shi Zhi had felt all of those things too.
Clearly they had been so, so good together. On a night before Shen Jia's birthday celebration, they'd even gone on a date.
That night, on the way back to campus, Shen Jia hooked his finger with hers and discussed with her: "Shi Zhi, when summer break comes and you're not so busy, do you want to meet my parents for a meal?"
Shi Zhi had agreed.
The next morning, Shen Jia suddenly appeared downstairs, smiling at her with a box of shumai. "Our auntie at home made them—so delicious. I tried one and hurried to bring you some."
Shi Zhi had indeed been moved.
Shen Jia would probably never understand: growing up in Shi Zhi's environment, after seeing so much human complexity and fickleness, how little she trusted love.
The world was a huge enemy. She chose Shen Jia.
She chose Shen Jia as her ally to face the enemy with, wanting to walk forward side by side with him all the way.
But Shen Jia hesitated.
On the road that belonged to only the two of them, he was the one who first wrote in a third name.
Before, Shi Zhi had been furious and suffocated.
She rationally wanted to label all her emotional turbulence as rationality, so she never said the word "break up," thinking all her emotions were because of "betrayal."
It wasn't until tonight that Shi Zhi finally understood: she was simply heartbroken.
Shi Zhi wanted to be like a heroine—swift, decisive, never dragging things out—but she suddenly realized she might be more fragile than she imagined.
So after taking revenge on Shen Jia, she wasn't as happy as she'd imagined—happy enough to throw her head back and laugh...
After doing everything she wanted to do, Shi Zhi only felt tired.
The kind of exhaustion after all the dust settled.
She leaned into the sofa, eyes closed, and didn't speak for a long time.
When she opened her eyes again, she found Fu Xiling sitting in the chair opposite her, playing with a box of matches provided by the hotel, watching her.
"What are you looking at?"
"Waiting to see when you'll talk to me."
Fu Xiling joked casually, then handed over the room service menu. "Want to order something to eat?"