Chapter 11

“Hahaha—funny, right!” Xixi slapped her thigh.
Feng’s mouth twitched—the rare speechless moment.
She laughed long at his silence, coughed: “Not funny? I’ll try another.”
“Once a rich man had a dog. Walking by the river a killer rushed out and killed the dog. The master raged—why kill my dog? The killer said: ‘Someone sent me for your dog’s life!’”
“Hahaha—isn’t that a riot!”
Feng: “……”
Not funny at all. But the girl thinking hard, then sheepish when he did not laugh—that was somewhat funny.
What was she striving for? Cold jokes to make him see her differently?
Xixi did not know his thoughts. His face was less cold—she was pleased.
So he liked them. She thought harder—found several more.
The last she only remembered half—the end gone.
“Uh—let me think—”
Scratching her head, silly—Feng finally turned and gave a low scoff.
“You laughed?!” Xixi thrilled, chest out: “If you like them I’ll tell you one every day!”
Feng: “……”
That was hardly necessary.
Face cold again: “I don’t.”
Xixi’s eyes turned: “Then what do you like? Tell me—I’ll learn.”
Feng: “……I like you far away.”
She covered her ears: “Didn’t hear. Say again.”
Feng: “……”
Looking at this shameless girl he turned away: “I need rest.”
She hated to go—but seeing impatience, for the long game she swallowed the urge to stay.
Still—it was her wedding night. Leaving rankled. She darted in and kissed his cheek: “Fine. I’ll see you early tomorrow.”
Caught off guard he shoved her, face black: “Get out!”
“On it.” She rolled away satisfied.
Feng: “……”
How could such a shameless woman exist?
**
Feng slept poorly that night.
He dreamed bridal Xixi sat on him like a mountain bandit chief, demanding more kisses. He could not push her off—wanted to strangle her.
Xixi in her own room slept well and woke bright.
Morning she went to breakfast with Feng—dark circles under his eyes, black face, drove her out.
Xixi: “……”
Fine in all but temper.
Handsome men could afford temper.
She sought advice in the yard: “Mother—how did you win Father?”
Feng Yunxiang fed chickens: “Not much winning. I saw him first, had your grandfather propose. His parents liked the match—they agreed. We married and lived—no drama.”
Xixi: “……”
Envy unspoken.
“Worried?” Mother smiled.
Xixi scratched her head: “Not worried—he’s cold. I’ve never courted anyone. Don’t know where to start.”
“Ask your eldest aunt. She chased your uncle for years before she caught him.”
“Really?” Xixi lit up. “I’m going now!”
“Eat first—”
“Not hungry!”
She ran to the house with the medicine banner on the door.
“Uncle—where’s Eldest Aunt?”
Lu Dongsheng sorted herbs, smiled: “Xixi—your aunt’s in the back room. What’s the hurry?”
“Something to ask her.” She lifted the curtain: “Aunt!”
“Coming, coming—you girl—wedding morning and you’re here instead of with your immortal husband?”
Round face, plump figure, warm and open—Xiao Xiumei, Xixi’s eldest aunt.
“Heh—I came to learn.” Xixi hugged her arm and explained.
Xiumei laughed: “Right person. I chased your uncle hard back then. But our case isn’t like yours—”
“How different?”
Xiumei stuffed a wild vegetable bun in her mouth, sat her down: “We were opposite neighbors, knew each other young. He’s four years older. When I liked him he already loved another—but her family thought him poor and married her elsewhere. I waited till she was gone and he was heartbroken—fed him daily, made clothes and shoes—coaxed him into my hands.”
Xixi understood, bit the bun: “Different. I’m clumsy at sewing… but food I can try. I’ll ask what he likes to eat!”
Xiumei knew her niece’s cooking. Eyelid twitch—she pulled her back: “Doesn’t have to be your cooking. Bring good food from elsewhere. Like these buns—take some. Men don’t want a few bites—they want you thinking of them, wanting to treat them well.”
Xixi nodded deeply.
“Men like pretty women. Gray and dusty every day won’t do. Dress bright—like yesterday’s wedding. That was good.”
She added: “Yours is clearly a scholar. Don’t wave weapons and fight before him—you’ll scare him. Look your best. Spoil him rotten—he’ll notice you.”
Enlightened, Xixi took two buns home to dress.
Two quarters later Feng saw a gaudy, rainbow fool of a girl.
“……”
What now—blind him?
**
The outfit hurt his eyes; cold mask almost cracked.
Xixi was glad he was not icy anymore.
Confident she piled gifts on the bed: “Aunt’s wild vegetable buns—two for you. Neighbor Shen’s date cake—I smelled it and got a piece. Mother’s dried meat—very fragrant—”
Strong perfume—Feng’s nose itched. He turned aside—three sneezes.
Sui He: “How many pounds of powder—achoo!”
“Uh—is it strong?” Xixi sniffed herself. “Seems fine.”
Feng: “……”
Hand on nose, temple throbbing: “Out.”
“No.” She tugged bright garish sleeves, sat on the bed: “I dressed up for you. Look a few more times.”
Feng: “……”
He had never met such a woman. Righteous shameless Xixi—and in his cold heart only shadow, a strange helplessness.
“You’re ugly—my master won’t look!” Sui He first.
Xixi bristled: “You’re ugly! I look great—you don’t understand!”
She truly believed gaudy was beautiful.
Feng: “……”
For his eyes he forced words: “You… were better before.”
At least not painful.
Xixi lit up: “Really? But I think now is prettier—”
“Really.” His eyelid twitched—emphasis.
She hesitated, regretful: “Fine. If you like before, I’ll change back.”
Feng almost exhaled in relief.